weight affecting confidence at work...

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weight affecting confidence at work...

Postby u_l_g » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:01 pm

I've been through quite a lot of stress recently, I was made redundant before christmas and am still out of work. It's taken quite a lot since then to get my confidence back and feel worthy of a new job. It's been really hard but now I realise I've got a great CV, a great portfolio and lots of potential to be a great employee. I've now got an interview for a job I REALLY want and would really love. I've already been to a few interviews and confidence wasn't a problem then - I wasn't really nervous either before or during the interview. I've always been used to business meetings and presentations in my line of work so confidence comes quite naturally to me now (it didn't at first - it took me a long time to find my confidence when i first started!)

But for this interview I'm really nervous, for a few reasons. Firsty because it's become desperate that I get a job (my partner has just been made redundant too and the money is fast running out, we'll lose our flat with nowhere to go soon), and because it's a fantastic job and i've never wanted any of the other jobs like i want this one. It'd be great for my career - a real step up and a challenge. But the main reason that has got me worried is one I can't talk myself into forgetting. I'm getting on for being 3 stone overweight and not being successful at losing it and it's really affecting my confidence. I've always been a bit overweight but now i feel like i'm verging on being properly fat and it's really noticable that i'm quite big. I feel like I'm not worthy of a job or a career. I know how important it is to look the part at an interview and how people say they'll make a decision about you in the first 3 seconds and I'm worried my weight will be the first thing they see and think about. I feel lke they'll take one look at me and think that I'm incapable of controlling what I eat so I must be incapable of the job. I need to feel i look good to feel confident, but i can't feel no matter how much of an effort i make i will never look good if i'm fat. You can't cover being fat up. This is really making me lose my confidence. After I've een through so much trying to get my confidence back I feel like this is the only thing holding me back and it seems so unfair and daft. Am I being daft thinking that my weight will have any bearing on whether or not i get the job?
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Re: weight affecting confidence at work...

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:55 pm

Don't be silly they aren't going to say "well she's overweight but got all the qualifications we want; but because she's overweight we'll not employ her". They'll look and decide based on qualifications and experience not the size of your wasit!
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Re: weight affecting confidence at work...

Postby Anjelica » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:13 pm

Omg, reading youre post gave me deja vu.

Im in the same position (sort of) and I have had problems with my weight for quite some time. My last job made me so unhappy I just comfort ate for a year and half to get me through the day, which was quite sad really cause I went from a size 12 to a size 20. I saw it happening and told myself that the next day would be the day I did something about it. I never did. So my confidence took a nose dive as you can imagine and when I left in the hopes of finding happiness it seemed to just get worse. Now im in the position that my CV is quite professional and i get the interview requests but then I dont get the job.

Ive come to the conclusion that its 1 of 3 possiblities. 1. There was someone more qualified than me. 2. Its due to the current jobs climate. or 3. They take one look at me and think "oh no she cannot represent my company" I know which option i prefer but if Im realistic I know that a slimmer version of myself would give me a better chance of passing an interview. Dont get me wrong I interview reasonably well (unless the employer is a real hard ass and throws killer questions at me designed to shoot me down) But in my area of work, i find looks matter and Im trying to do something about it now. Not just for myself and my confidence but for survival. I cant live on fresh air for much longer. A majority of people whether they know it or not subconsciously do form opinions on you and youre appearance.

And if youre unlucky enough to be the lassy with the extra weight then youre confidence is already at an all time low. Ive found that reciting a lil mantra to myself in the morning like "Youre smart, funny and beautiful and no1 is more qualified for this job than me." helps a little even if it just makes me giggle at the ridiculousness of it all and then forcing myself onto the treadmill for 30 mins. Im in the process of turning back the clock so to speak and have been told that no one will love you until you love yourself so maybe when we are going for jobs were giving off bad vibes.

I just wanted to let you know that there are other people feeling the same as you and tell yourself it could be worse; you have your boyfriend, youre health, youre personality and a good work ethic. Some employers going to pick up on that and think they hit the jackpot. ( And if they dont at this moment, then feel sorry for them. They probably hired an airhead who turns up late for work and sues them for unfair dismissal later in life) :lol:
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Re: weight affecting confidence at work...

Postby snail » Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:09 pm

Well, I really don't think that your weight will put off any employer. I understand what you mean, but in my experience and I would think most other people's, there's absolutely no link between someone's weight and their ability to do a job. If I was interviewing, the candidate's weight wouldn't even cross my mind unless it was so high or low that they might suffer health problems because of it.
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Re: weight affecting confidence at work...

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:03 pm

i would never judge someone on their weight as people can have illness that cause it
I would however judge someone on their personnel hygiene
so dress smart, smell great, wash your hair and put a big smile on your face - i think a positive attitude speaks volumes
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Re: weight affecting confidence at work...

Postby dogtan » Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:10 am

I honeslty think that your manifesting your anxiey by focusing on worrying about your weight. Sounds like you have had loads to deal with. Try and be kind to your self, remind your self of your positive points , have lotts of pampreing time and get some excersise to stimiluate endorphins.

To compliment the fact that you are applying for jobs I would also look at back up plans to make sure that life can be as stress free as possable at the moment. For example;

Are the job centre helping you?
Have you contacted the councel/thought about going on the housing list?
Are you recieving all the benifits you are entitled to.

If you have a birthday coming up you could consider asking people to give you vouchers so that you can invest in a new suit/hair cut/make up to boast your confidence at interviews.

Good luck.
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Re: weight affecting confidence at work...

Postby dogtan » Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:13 am

oh and by the way be aassured that when you return to work that weight will drop off, you can afford to join a gym or local slimming club and by loads of healthy food.
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