I feel under pressure at work.

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I feel under pressure at work.

Postby JennaXXX » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:54 pm

I work with kids and although I am the most qualified there, I don't manage it. The guy who runs it also has a degree but in an unrelated area. He is much more confident and people friendly then I am and he likes the older kids so I think it works well. At times I have doubted him as he has done things which are quite deceitful and I see him as a dishonest person who I haven't really got much time for.
I only stay in the job for the younger kids (The creche) and also because they are putting me on some coaching courses so I can earn money teaching kids sports. However, today I was told that I had to attend a meeting and when I asked my boss about it he said that the child inspection people want him to have a manager and he suggested me. I feel really worried about it and once again I feel like this is something I really don't want. 1. Because I don't feel I could manage him due to his personality and 2. I feel like I will get roped into doing things I am not comfortable with.
Our company isn't doing too well at the moment and if I was his manager then I feel like I would be taking the brunt of a lot of it. Problem is, I know my boss is going to try and make it sound really good and positive and I will have trouble saying *No.*
I spoke to my mum about it and she said that it would be stupid to turn it down as obviously I would be getting paid a lot more then I am now and that with his in mind, I would be able to afford a place of my own in a few years.

I feel so torn. I want to see what he has to say but already I know that I will be judged if I don't take the role on. And I worry that I will be letting myself down and my family if I don't accept the offer. :-?
Whatever life throws at you, smile, hold your head up high and be the best you can possibly be.
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Re: I feel under pressure at work.

Postby jen » Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:34 pm

Hi

Ok firstly the thing you need to try and put to the back of your mind is
whether you're letting people down or not. You're the one that has to do
the job, not them.

What is it exactly about the job that you don't think you'll like? I know you
said that you think you will get the brunt of a lot of things but as you said,
they will pay you a bit more money for doing that. However if the reason
you don't want to do it is because you're happy in your current role and feel that
this is as far as you want to take this job (ie not be promoted or go any further)
then i'm sure once you've attended the meeting you can simply thank them for
thinking of you for the role but you are more than happy with the job you do now
and although you are grateful for the opportunity to progress, you feel that there
is still a lot more you can take from your current role.

No-one will judge you. You really need to stop thinking that everything you do
and every decision you make is going to result in people judging you. Everyone
has different ideas and opinions on life and may take a different view to things
but it doesn't mean they're jugmental. For example if i was in your position, i would probably love to have been offered the managers job, however if i was
offered a managers job at the place i work currently, i wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Everyone is different and you've got to live your life for you, not anyone else and if that means staying in your current role then so be it.

I'm sure your bosses etc will understand.

Another thing, you can always ask what the managers job will entail, you never know, it may just be the job you're doing at the moment but with a bit more
admin work.

Also bear in mind that they wouldn't offer you the role if they didn't think you
were the right person for the job so you must be doing something right. Doesn't
that give your self esteem a wee boost?
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Re: I feel under pressure at work.

Postby JennaXXX » Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:03 pm

Well I just think that the managers at work assume that just because I have a degree, this means that I want to manage everything. :-? I am happy leading the creche and I will be leading a sports course once I am qualified so I am happy with that. I am also hoping to transfer to another company to get more trampoline hours and to earn more money that way. I have it all planned out but although I have told my boss this, he doesn't seem to listen.
I think the main problem is that I am the only qualified one in my team so that's the reason why I get asked to do all these things.
I don't want to be working so closely with my boss as I don't like or trust him and I imagine I will be getting a lot of the admin work related to the older kids thrown my way which is something I really don't want.
I feel like I will be judged for not taking it on. Already, my headbosses have criticized me for not wanting to take on a more active role with the older kids.
:-? :-?
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Re: I feel under pressure at work.

Postby jen » Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:16 pm

Ah ok

Well you sound as though you have a really good plan for what you want to do.

I know you said before that you aren't great at saying no to people but if you go into this interview with your boss, you're going to have to say something. As i said there are different ways to say no. If you tell them that you're grateful for the opportunity but you would rather be happy in your role and getting the most out of your job rather than going for a job that isn't really you that you know wont make you happy just for the extra cash.

At they end of the day, they can't fire you for not taking the promotion.

Whatever you do though, if you really don't want to do it, don't take it, even if they say just for a trial period. A similar thing happened to me at work. They asked me to move departments and i really didn't want to but said i would do it on a trial basis, then i told them i wasn't enjoying it and was told to try it for another week and then the next thing i know, they're getting my computer etc moved up to this other department and when i said "am i not getting to go back downstrairs" i was told "well there's nothing we can do about it now, you;ll just need to see how it goes because you've already moved". It's now been nearly a year and i'm still stuck here.

I know you say you don't find it easy saying no, but if you really don't think this promotion is for you then please please try your hardest to stay strong and let them know that you are happy where you are and don't want to move.

Good Luck and sorry to go on a bit.
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Re: I feel under pressure at work.

Postby JennaXXX » Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:31 pm

No it's fine, I appreciate you taking the time to write responses to me.
I will just have to be firm. It's not my fault I am the only qualified one and they shouldn't expect so much out of me, especially when I didn't sign up for all this in the first place.
It will be hard as I know he will make it all sound quite casual and easy when it won't be like that at all in reality. I think it's really important to be happy at work and putting myself in a position where I will have to work with him so closely is just asking for trouble.
I just find it hard being assertive and putting my own needs first. As I said before, I am also frustrated as we have had this conversation before and I made it clear that I see my future in the creche and in sport coaching and that is it.
I am just worried about the hard time he will give me over it.
Whatever life throws at you, smile, hold your head up high and be the best you can possibly be.
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Re: I feel under pressure at work.

Postby jen » Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:02 pm

I totally agree with you in that being in a job you love is more important than being in one that pays more money.

If you've already told him then he'll probably already know that you don't want to do it but just say whatever you said to him last time and try to stick with it.

I wouldn't worry about him giving you a hard time about not taking the job. At the end of the day, he's supposed to be professional and if he behaves in any way other than professional then you have the right to go above him and report him, although i doubt he will make that big a deal of it.

I also just wanted to say that i think it's really great that you've got a plan regarding your work and that you know what you want to do. It's good to have something to work towards.

I also think that it will help your confidence and self esteem if you stick to your path and don't let this guy bully you into taking the other job.

Good Luck!
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