She HATES me

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She HATES me

Postby whoopsie » Thu Jul 22, 2010 2:33 pm

There is a women who sits in my department and she absolutely hates me. She isn't part of my team, but she sits on my bank of desks.

When I started in November, she was really nice to me and I really liked her. We would talk about cats and we got on really well. Randomly, about 4 months ago, she stopped talking to me. I asked if I had done something to upset her, but she said no. I apologised to her in case I had and she didn't want to say. This isn't just a case of her not liking me, she DESPISES me. I can't think of anything I would've said or done to upset her. I'm not a nasty person, I'm not aggresive, over assertive. I've never upset anyone to the point where they don't speak to me. Everyone else in the office likes me, no one else can understand why she hates me.

She won't tell me or anyone else why she doesn't like me. I did think about emailing her, to ask her and apologise again but never did. She's a bit weird to be fair. She's 36 and an accountant. She's very intelligent and knowledgable but also very vindictive. I wouldn't want to have an argument with her. She is a bit of a loner really. Keeps herself to herself.

One of the other girls in my dept gets on well with her. She has asked her, but she says she doesn't want to talk about it. She fell out with another girl in the office that I get on really well with. She says I bring out the worst in her (the other girl) and pretty much blamed me for them falling out. She has also said that if I try to get her moved back to her department, she will tell my manager that I send emails to my friend across the office.

I don't want to reconcile with her at all. Whatever it is I've done, I feel like she's dealt with it in a childish way. If it were me, I would've let it go or had it out with her. I just can't help but be upset that someone hates me, for no valid reason. I don't know if I'm looking for advice as such, maybe I just needed a rant. :cry:
=^..^=
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Re: She HATES me

Postby RagDoll » Thu Jul 22, 2010 2:49 pm

Your colleague sounds like a prat!!

I'd be inclined to just ignore it - like you said she's behaving like a child. You've done the adult thing and asked her if you've upset her in anyway and you've apologised just incase, there's not much more you can do on that front.

My only other suggestion is that you report her ridiculous behaviour despite her threats to tell your manager you email your friends. I personally think that'd only make her look even more ridiculous anyway (sounds very tit for tat - I mean if a manager calls her in to speak to her about her attitude, surely she's not going to go "yeh but Whoopsie emails people, so there!"). Alternatively, before you do that you could have a quiet word with her and say that the way she is behaving is really upsetting you and you want to give her one last opportunity to talk it through with you before you speak to a manager about it.
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Re: She HATES me

Postby Skarlet » Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:13 pm

Sounds like some kind of jealousy. Either in regards to that other girl, or other weird stuff.

I would report it to your manager anyway. Even with her threat, most work places have reasonable personal email usage in the policy, so as long as you aren't emailing every 2 seconds I am pretty sure it wouldn't be a problem.
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Re: She HATES me

Postby spacegirl » Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:30 pm

the best thing to do with people like this is just to ignore them! she's decided she doesn't like you for some reason and there's nothing you can do about that, so i'd let her wallow in her misery if i were you... she's acting very childish and she's probably geting great satisfaction from the fact that you've tried to apologise and thinks she has the upper hand. sending the odd email in work is no big deal, that is also very childish tha he's threatened you like this.

i wouldn't worry about it too much if i were you, she's only putting herself in a bad mood with this attitude don't let her drag you down too!
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Re: She HATES me

Postby Peanut1977 » Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:10 pm

Sounds like she has some major issues. I'm just guessing but maybe she had some fantasy that you two were going to end up being best mates, and when you started talking to other people she didn't like it. Please don't let it get to you, it is HER problem, not yours. She will eventually move onto someone else, probably when a new girl starts. In the meantime just ignore her and try to forget about it. If she is mean, hostile or goes out of her way to upset you then I would definitely speak to your manager about it. Good luck x
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