How to get over fears of being new in job

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How to get over fears of being new in job

Postby Cari Las » Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:48 pm

Hi There

I was wondering if I could get some advice. I am four weeks into an amazing new job and I am completely freaking out. The company is very well known, and people are keen to work there. I apparanlty excelled in the interview and I had brilliant feedback, I was very relaxed in the interview as was going away for a month and already had another job so was completely myself, anyway this seemed to work and they offered me a higher salary and made the position managerial they were so kken for me to work there, I felt very flattered. I started the job as soon as I got back from my month away. Everyone was very friendly to start with, I was given big projects to work on straight away and have been thrown right in the deep end plus I have had around 20 different people to meet amongst all the work that has been thrown my way. I have forgotten to attend some of these meet and greets and am struggling with all the new things am having to learn, I keep saying stupid things and not remembering everyone I have met and everything that has been told to me. I am starting to feel really paranoid that everyone is losing faith in me. I kind of wish they had not made the position managerial as I feel so much pressure to be amazing, (also my old manager wrote me a brilliant reference which my new manager keeps referring to but my old manager was a bit mad and I wish he had not written such a good reference as I am just average and I feel more pressure) I had my 1 month review last week and my manager did not have anything negative to say, he said he felt bad as I have been thrown right in the deep end, he said he liked the way I just got on with things and my enthusiasm and approach. People in the team said they really liked my personality and that I have fitted in well....but ANY mistake I make I lose all my confidence and think that people's opinions of me are going to change for the worse. I have become really paranoid about one girl who was really friendly at first but has become distant with me. In my previous role I was there for 4 years and knew everyone so it has been a big shock starting all over again. Plus I have had lots of things going wrong in my personal life this month, my flatmates (who are best mates) have been majorly rowing (personality clashes between freinds which I am trying to resolve) resulting in it being stressful at home, am also having trouble with boyf, all I want to do is concentrate on new job and be the best I can be. I am unfortunalty not naturally organised and have poor attention to detail so I have to work hard in this area, main part of my job is more creative and people based which I am fine with, Anyway I think my low self confidence is showing through which is not good at all, anyone got advice on how to stop all the negative self talk and how they find being new in the office?
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Re: How to get over fears of being new in job

Postby captainf » Sun Jun 12, 2011 9:02 pm

It sounds like your work colleagues have faith in you and it sounds like they expect you to make mistakes being the newbie. So dont feel too bad when you make mistakes as obviously being the new person you are expected to make mistakes and need correcting at time. You will take abit of time to find your feet but it sounds like you are doing well and the only person being hard on you is yourself. Relax a little.
Regarding to making sure you make meetings etc Keep a diary with dates and check it every morning so that you can be sure to know where you should be on each given day and time.

Sorry to hear about the homelife - I think you could try sitting them both down and getting them to talk and if it doesnt work suggest that one of them finds somewhere else to live, however, dont say it to a particular friend, just say something like 'I think that if we cant resolve this maybe one of you should find another place to live to make things easier'
Sorry to hear about your relationship problems too. What has happened there?
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Re: How to get over fears of being new in job

Postby LME79 » Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:51 pm

Just seen this and I can totally relate ... sorry my reply is so late!

I cannot tell you how many times I have feared that I have simply blagged my way to where I am now, even though I know that deep down I am good at my job and companies would not have employed us at the level we are if they didn't have faith. I've just been given a new job which also has huge responsibility and I am scared STIFF. But then we both have to remember that the people interviewing us know what they're looking for - it doesn't matter how many people we believe are out there and better than us, these companies chose us for a reason and that's because we ARE good. We didn't make stuff up on our CVs, we didn't lie in the interviews (in fact, I was so honest in a recent interview that I thought I'd blown it completely!) - and we do have the ability.

New jobs are always stressful, especially with added responsibility but if you weren't up to it, your managers would have told you. I'm always worried when I make mistakes but that's because I'm conscientious and very passionate about what I do so I hate messing up - I'm guessing you're the same here - but then if it means I'm paying attention to detail and care about when I make a mistake (which I will learn from) then that can only be a good thing. What I find helps me is a LOT of lists and a LOT of tasks in Lotus Notes! Make sure you make a To Do list at the end of each day for the next working day and cross each task off as you complete it. My tip for deadlines is: if you have to produce a piece of work for your boss for next Friday then make an internal deadline to yourself of next Wednesday. That way you have a 'buffer' if other sudden tasks come up unexpectedly.

Don't worry about remembering names at all - you've not been there for long and it sounds like you've been introduced to a lot of staff recently so couple that with a heavy workload and of course some things will slip. Don't worry about it :)

Regarding the non-work stuff ... I hope that's all improved by now. If not, don't get involved with the argument itself but inform them that they have to sort it out (and soon) because it's not fair on anyone in the house. As for your boyfriend, do you think it could be stress with the new job? I ask because we tend to take stress and frustration out on those closest to us. If not, I hope that whatever happens works out for you soon.

Take care.

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