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Feel awkward and don't know whether I should say something

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:48 pm
by Catnip1000
Dear all, I'm new to here and just wanted to see if I could get any advice for a problem at work.
Well, a girl who used to work in my office told me last Xmas that something had gone on between her and a guy in our office. The guy is married so she said it had finished but she still had feelings for him. She asked me not to say anything. She left our office in may and the guy left soon after. Nothing more was really said about it but there were rumours already going round about them (not started by me I hasten to add) people were seeing they'd been seen kissing and were being over friendly. Anyway, someone new started in our office in sept. when we were alone one day he asked me what's this about that girl messing about with the married guy. He said he'd heard rumours. I said that I knew she liked him and something might have gone on but I didn't know. Anyway a week ago the person I spoke to said he'd blurted out to the girl on a night out about her shagging the married guy andhe said she admitted it to him. I saw her before I knew this had happened and she ignored me, she has also ignored an email that I sent her about a work related matter. It didn't dawn on me at the time but now I'm realising that she obviously thinks i've told him. I don't know how to approach her about this now. I feel awkward about it but don't want any bad feeling. I think I'm probably the only person that she told in so many words but I don't think she realises that it wasn't really a secret because other people were speculating and gossiping. Any ideas? Thanks in advance

Re: Feel awkward and don't know whether I should say somethi

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:06 am
by Vix1
From what you have said it doesnt sound like this girl is a close friend of yours and is merely an ex work colleague. If this is the case then I wouldnt loose any sleep over it. People will always make their own minds up anyway so even if you do say something to her she may not believe you.

Re: Feel awkward and don't know whether I should say somethi

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:31 am
by highlandcow
I agree with Vix, try not to be too worked up over it. It sounds like she's just looking for someone to blame but if everyone was sounding off about it then it's hardly your fault.
Let it blow over, people always find something else to gossip about especially in the workplace. This will all be history soon enough.

Re: Feel awkward and don't know whether I should say somethi

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:01 pm
by Catnip1000
Thanks guys, I do have to see her sometimes through work and have socialised with her since she left our office. She's not a close friend and we don't speak really unless we see each other but don't want to feel awkward if I do see her.

Re: Feel awkward and don't know whether I should say somethi

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:24 pm
by captainf
Dont worry about it. You've got nothing to feel guilty about really. She decided to go for a married man and they had their affair which obviously was in plain view of colleagues otherwise they wouldn't of been speculating. Overall its her own fault it came out - he cheated, she got involved with a married man, the potential was for it to be messy and they werent discreet and therefore were found out. She should be annoyed with herself really, not anyone else.

Re: Feel awkward and don't know whether I should say somethi

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:09 pm
by highlandcow
I reckon that's probably why her nose is bent out of shape about it; she's projecting her guilt over her actions onto you.
Yeah it sucks when someone ignores you but you're not the bad guy here!