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how do i help her?

PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2003 7:43 pm
by crasygurl
hi,
i am really worried about my friend,
she recently broke up with her bf because one of his mates hit her,
she didnt want to cause any problems for her bf by making him chose between her and his mates,
as his mate told every one else that she is really horrble,
i wont go into detail.

they keep telling her bf to dump her because of this,
she found out they where putting alot of pressure on him,
so in the end she dumped him,
saving him to do it and hopfully end both they problems.

now she has become really scared,
becase the bloke hit her because she refused to go out with him,
because she really cared about her bf.
and didnt want to ever hurt him.

she hardly wants to go out the house,
every time a blokes speaks to her she freaks out,
or thinks they are saying horrble things about her if they look at her and start talking or even if they just walk past her in genral.

she has lost all condifence in blokes, as in the past all her ex have either cheated on her, dissapeared, tried to use her and one raped her, this happen each time when she refused to have sex with them as she knew she wasnt ready yet.
she was just starting to trust blokes again till this happen.

she is only 18 and should be enjoying her self.
but she hardly walk out the font door now.
i want to help her,
she claims she dont want any ones help,
but that only because i think she is still scared and shocked.
she wont speak to any of her friends, besides me and only when i visit her twice a week to make sure she is ok as i a study full time and work during what spare time i have so i cant check up on all the time.
she wont go councerlling (how ever you spell it) as she was force to when her parents split when she was very young and it was a terrible experience 4 her.

i so scared she will hurt herself again, now this has happen. because even her parents dont want to know as they dont seam to care. and if she does i will feel it my fault for not being able to help her.

i am so worried i just dont know what to do.
i would be very grateful for any advice.
sorry this is kind of long.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 10:08 am
by doteasy
Men Aren't everything. Show her a good time with just her girlfriends, cheer her up and maybe just get her to talk about everything thats happened.
She sounds like she's had a few too many bad guys, maybe she need space from dating. Just keep looking out for her.
Hope this works out
good luck
x

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2003 10:17 am
by Theparadox
She sounds pretty freaked out by all this, and can't blame her.
Counselling could help, or she could speak to someone at college/work?
As a mate it sounds like you're doing a good job already, the rest is down to her really to learn to get over it with lots of help and support.