My Best Friend May Be Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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My Best Friend May Be Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!

Postby invinciblecocobean » Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:16 am

First of all, no I aint the Dad LOL

Basically the whole story is I first met my best female friend Cindy (now 19) about a year ago at a mutual friends 21st Bday party. We got chatting and within a few weeks got really close as good mates. During that time I started to fancy her and wanted to know if she felt the same way about me, I thought I was reading signs of affection from her but she is a friendly bubbly girl so I obviously read those signs wrong and it was confirmed when I sent her a text asking her if she

"would ever see me in that way (not actually asking her out)?"

She replied

"No sorry I dont see you in that way"


This is being yet another rejection in my life, I couldn't handle it and I didn talk to her for a few days. In my mind I had this mentality that I have plenty of female friends and I didn need another one. But a few days later we talked and were mates again.

Over the next couple of months we got closer and closer and eventually became best friends but my feelings grew from fancying her to being IN LOVE WITH HER. I would describe Cindy as "Down to earth cutie with a nice body and a bubbly personality". She does get a fair bit of attention from other guys at our local pub. Again during those couple of months she did pursue other guys. Although we would never happen, I vowed I would never stop her from having relationships and also vowed to look after her and make sure she didn't get messed around. She did have a couple of boyfriends but they treated her like jelly. It pained me though to see her with those fools because I knew I could treat her alot better.

Cindy's problem is that she is shallow, believing because a guy is good looking on the outside he must have a good personality on the inside. That has always been her biggest flaw. Her second flaw is that she is gulliable and easily flattered, especially by men. She even said to me that we could never work out because Im not her type physically, but personality wise Im perfect.

I still had love feelings for her and to get rid of them I tried not to be her close friend anymore and distance myself from her. Tried it for a few weeks, but it caused tension between us and our friends and we eventually became close again. I realised that I couldnt bear not to have her as a best mate.

Another couple of months afterwards, my feelings for her grew more and more. But I knew we could never happen and I hated feeling like this, wishing there was some internal switch I could use to turn my feelings off. Fully well knowing our future as a couple was zero, I confessed my feelings of love to her as a way of relief for myself. She was shocked but it was pretty much forgotten, now that she knew I felt great and I pretty much ignored my feelings for her.

3 months later, she starts to take an interest in a guy who is a waitor at our local pub called Paul (23 now). He is an alright guy and they seemed to enjoy each others company. Cindy told me she fancied him for a couple of months. One night I was hanging out with Cindy and Paul in the park. Paul went off to buy some fags and while I was sitting with Cindy I realised I was still in love with her. The only plan I could think of for me to stop loving was to challenge her about the exact reason why she doesn't have feelings for me in that way. Basically I wanted her to say something cruel or mean that would hurt me enough to regret having feelings for her. I asked her, she never gave me a straight answer and I just stormed off because I still loved her and my plan didn't work. We made up a few days later and to this day we are still best friends, that I wouldn't change for the world.

Present time now, Cindy and Paul have been going out as boyfriend and girlfriend for nearly a month now. Im happy for them and my feelings for Cindy have definitely died down and I am kind of involved with another girl, so that helps aswell. The first 2 weeks into their relationship they were having arguments because Paul was insecure about Cindy wanting to cheat on him and him overhearing other guys in the pub where he works saying how hot and fit Cindy is. But eventually things were worked out and they started having sex, which im constantly reminded about lol.

Okay at this point in the story your wondering what all that jargon has got to do with the bulletin TITLE? Here it is..........

I was up our local pub with some friends and Cindy came up and wanted to talk to me in private. We was on our own and she told me she might be pregnant. I was shocked, turns out they weren't using condoms and I know for a fact Cindy aint on the pill yet. Shes also telling me the symptons of an early pregnancy like eating more, cramps down her (women parts), feeling sick etc. She told me she has felt like this for a few days therefore it would be too early to take a test. She also said that Paul would stand by her if she is pregnant.

I AM NOT HAPPY WITH WHAT HAS HAPPENED FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS. (ASSUMING THAT SHE IS PREGNANT)

1) He doesn't earn that much money from his job and Cindy is unemployed.
2) They have only been going out a month, and even most of that time they were arguing about stupid things. And they haven't even lived together, so if they did take this relationship seriously, would they cope being a lil happy family, giving up their social freedoms? Every spare penny has to be used for the baby etc?
3) They didn't bother using any form of protection, so its both their faults.
4) They both live at home with their own families.





Can anyone give me advice about what do to do about my friend Cindy and this possible situation. I feel angry and that I shouldn't bother being her friend, but she is my best friend and this possible pregnancy has nothing to do with me. And if anyone thinks I still have feelings for her.

Lets just say hyperthetically even if I have the tiniest amount of feelings for her now, if she is pregnant I have lost all respect for her for being stupid about not using protection. Shes only 18 and shes on about going to university and do an Art Degree, this baby could ruin her life.

Please reply.
invinciblecocobean
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Postby Bev » Wed Aug 08, 2007 8:35 am

To me from what i've read you really care about this Cindy. You've stood by her even though shes not made it easy for you over time. You're right to lose respect for her. But I know from the post deep down that you are worried about what happens next. The only thing you can do is wait and if she is pregnant, you've got to decide whether you will let yourself be mortified about it or whether you are going to be there in any decision she will make.

Don't forgot that this Paul might be all happy now about her being pregnant, but in a few months, he might just walk out of her life. Which is where you have to be careful, you are a close friend and you've got to make sure that if she does turn to you for comfort that you don't take that as anything but that.

Cindy is a grown woman, but in my view she is gambling with her life and the life of a baby(if there is one). I personally can't understand why anyone in a new relationship wouldnt use some form of protection. I've wanted a baby for so long, but me and the fiance of 5 years need to get a home of our own first and i need to find a job, i'm 25. On the opposite side of the coin much like your friend Cindy, my friend has just started seeing someone, but hes never had a job in his 24 years of his life and shes just recently got the sack from her job, and now shes telling me that she might be pregnant again. Shes only been going out with her bloke 3 months and already shes had a miscarriage and now shes pregnant again so she says.

I can fully understand what you are going through, the only problem you have now is if she is pregnant are you going to just walk away and leave them to it or swallow your feelings about this and give her your support.

I personally am not going to give my friend any support because of her reasons about wanting to get pregnant, she wants a child so she won't have to work and they both will be on the dole and live off benefits. I think that because of your post you will support your friend even though you have lost your respect for her. You obviously care about your friend which i admire about you.

Your reasons for losing your respect is justified, the question you've got to ask yourself now is, are you prepared to walk away if she is pregnant or are you going to be there if things go wrong with her boyfriend.

Finding out about things like this is hard for anyone, but deciding what you will do next is even harder. I hope that I've helped in someway.
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Postby gatekeeper » Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:14 am

Hi, from your post, I gather that you REALLy care for this girl as a friend. A very good friend of mine is now 6 months pregnant and just turned 21 today. I remember feeling the same way as you. Her then boyfriend, now husband was earning very little and she's still in school. Abortion was out of the way as we just don't believe in killing a baby. We tried getting her to give the baby up for adoption but she insisted on marrying her guy.

Deep down, I know there is very little chance the marriage would work. But I've learnt to accept the fact that it's her choice and it's her life, she made the bed, now she needs to lie on it. Basically, what I'm doing now is providing her with support e.g. buying whatever baby stuff I could afford or making sure she gets nutrious food.

There is really nothing much you can do except supporting your friend in whatever she decides to do and lending her your shoulder if she ever needs one.

You're a wonderful friend, don't ever blame yourself if your friend makes a bad decision right under your nose. You may advise her but what are we supposed to do if our friend does not accept it?
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too...
So I wait for the day and the courage to say how much I love you
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Postby Raven » Wed Oct 17, 2007 12:24 pm

Was she actually pregnant then?
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