Please read and advise.......

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Please read and advise.......

Postby Teenspirit » Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:16 pm

Hi all sorry this is long.

I am hoping you can help me as I feel very confused right now…………..

Me & my best friend Kel have been Bf’s for yrs. Me & my Boyfriend Kev have been 2getha for 4yrs.
We used 2 hang out with a gal called Mili wen we were in our teens.

But Mili always acted like she was beta than us,
Went with all my exs (even tho she didn’t want them). Chatted a lot of rubbish about us.
Takes drugs lots… is selfish…. And was voilant 2wards me once.

Me n Mili had the fight n I decided to stay away.
But Kel stayed in contact with Mili until last yr they had a big row n K had, had enough.

That was that until recently they made up again. I think Kel mostly hangs with her cause she is single n all her pals Rob not. I can understand this. But I did send her an email saying Mili is trouble.

Then Kel told me that Mili was casually seeing one of Kev pals Rob.
I wasn’t happy as Mili’s got a big mouth n will say things about me 2 Rob (which are not true) n tell Kev.

Then on Friday Kel rang kev asking 4 advice on what Mili should do as shes pregnant n does not know how to tell Rob.
I was fuming. once Kel hung up I told kev that next time K calls for advice for Mili don’t get involved.
He got angry with me n said tel kel that but I was to angry to talk to her. I the end I slept in the living room that’s how mad I was.

The next day I said that I did not want Kel calling Kev for advice for Mili.

1) kev does not like anyone knowing his business n Rob will be the same especially as Mili n kev are strangers.
2) I do not want Mili calling kev in the future no good can come of it. I do not trust her at all near my man.
3) I am very hurt n upset by Kel’s actions this is the 2nd time in 2months that she has really hurt me.
4) It is a dangerous situation to put kev in cause it is not his business to tell me what is happening with Mili but if Kev calls him n I ask n he says oh she just rang then that’ll look more suspect than the truth?

That I don’t expect her to understand how I feel but I do expect her to respect it. That’s how it is. The thing is my best friend knows me so well n would no how I’d have felt.
She said she was sorry and it was all her fault.

But I just feel let down again by her actions. I never would have expected this from her. She is my best friend she is one of the most important people in my life but lately it feels like she does not think of my feelings at all. I always think of hers.

Am I in the right?
I am so confused any advice greatly appreciated.

Edit by Pwif: no swearing please, even with ***. Ta. :P
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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 03, 2007 4:02 pm

You can't tell your b/f who he can talk too and I think your getting this out of proportion becasue you don't like mili.
Yes it isn't her place to get Kel to ring Kev but Kel should have know better than to do that.

If Kev doesn't want to give advice he is old enough to tell Kel that himself.
I think perhaps you are angrier at Kel because she is mates with Mili and not really coz of what happened.

Kel has a mind of her own and should have put more thought in before ringing Kev but as a mate of mili's , who is troubled by preganacy, you can see she may not have been thinking clearly just trying to help Mili.

Was Kel sorry that she invloved Kev when you told her not to ring him again?
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Postby Teenspirit » Wed Oct 03, 2007 4:41 pm

Hi ya,

yeah she was sorry she knew she'd done wrong...

Im not really bothered If Kel n Mili talk aslong as it doesnt effect me which it did whne she got my Boyfreind involved....

I just dont need mili in my life or Kev's.

I can totaly understand she was helping her friend and I told kel that. But id just appreciate it of she didnt involve Kev....

Kev is very tempremental and I no that if it was me talking about our business to anyone stranger or not he'd go mad.

So i no that Rob would be exactly the same especially as he does not even really like Mili it was just a booty call and unfortunatley he will tell her that and Mili wanted more....

I dont hate Mili but I dont trust anything about her and I am someone that cant be around people that switch I like to no wher I stand.

Not one min were best pals then shes causing trouble.....

The thing im most hurt by is Kel she knows y i feel the way I do she has been there everytime me n milli have had trouble so she should have known that it wasnt a good idea to get my boyfriend and her talking....

And Kev cant answer how rob is gonna react to Milli being pregnant his young, his nans just died his in prison and he has lost a child before....

This is not the first time Milli has got pregnant either. This is about the 4th time and each has ended in termination.... I NEVER judhge those who choose to go down that path I have been with freinds when theyve had it done but I do think if ur not in a committed relationship u should protect urself. I feel very strongly about things like that.....
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Postby retrochav » Thu Oct 04, 2007 12:06 am

Kev and Rob are bound to talk about the issues raised at some point if they are mates dont you think?

Rob cant get angry at you because you havent been chatting business, so leave it for Rob and Kel to sort out, if indeed he is all that bothered.

As for Mili, leave her where she is - in your past. She cant take your man anyway, he would have to go of his own choice. He isnt likely to do that, after all he is settled with you - wheres the attraction in a confused young child that you present Mili to be?

Its your choice, but i would leave well out of it. Tell Kel you have no interest in all of this and dont want to get involved. Kev can make his own mind up, but is likely to take the same view longer term.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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