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Postby Brighter » Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:15 pm

Okay, I'm in my last year of senior school.
And in the past two years I've sort of become friends with this girl (we'll call her S) well, our friendship wasn't anything major, it was just talking in lessons and messing about and I went round her house once. I never really labeled her a 'best friend' but she seems to think we are...

On a few occasions she has said 'You're like one of my best friends...' and I'll get quite uncomfortable, because she really isn't one of mine, because she gets SERIOUSLY annoying and sometimes she gets a little bit 'close' as in she sort of goes a bit lesbian in how she acts. I've got nothing wrong with lesbians/bis/gays or whatever, it's just it's seriously uncomfortable when somebody is acting in this way on you, when you are straight.

Anyway, recently I've gotten to a point where she's driven me up the wall, she's that annoying!! She acts like a teacher and I'm in the school play, which recently I haven't really felt like doing because of my hate for one of the teachers supervising. And if me and my friend 'N' just hint that we don't feel like going, she will full on rant and say that we should do it and all of this! And me and N are just like WTF?!
Not only is she like this but she cries nearly every day for no reason at all, usually it is something like she's feeling ill, but the other day when i wasn't at school she said 'KEEP THE 10th FREE! It's my birthday' and when somebody else in our group said that it was her birthday she went balistic aparently and ran off crying.
I haven't been at school on Monday and Tuesday because I just have to get away from her she drives me that insane. And also I've noticed that she is overly friendly with me, she knows things which I'm sure I haven't told her and it's as if she's stalking me. And she is always laughing at me when I'm not even trying to be funny, or I'm just not being funny AT ALL. And I just think she tries way too hard to make an effort, because she copies me all the time, like my music and clothing taste. Not only that, but this really really wee'd me off, she took MY part in drama lessons, and apparently made it 'better' which is seriously depressing seeing as I'm not a confident person to start with! She muscles in on mine and n's "in" jokes which have started WAY before she came into the picture! And she buys me things all the time, nothing expensive, just like food and sweets and stuff which she doesn't buy for anyone else!
She sent me an email on Saturday night saying; Are we okay, you seem off with me? I just came on msn and you signed off straight away, but when I looked on Bebo and Myspace you were still online. And I looked at your blog on bebo and you'd quoted a situation that had happened between us that you and somebody else had found funny. But I don't find it funny at all. It's really upsetting because you're like one of my best friends!'
It was something along those lines. And I replied making up something because I didn't want to be harsh...
Then when I went back to school on Wednesday, I tried ignoring her, which is hard as she sits in front of me in form time. And I don't know what it was, but I swear she made even more of an effort to talk to me than when I'm NOT trying to ignore her!!

I've spoken to some people, who have said that she can get really annoying and most people don't like her. Which is why I can't be straight with her and tell her I don't like her because I know that I'm probably one of the only people she's got.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I just don't want to be friends with her, because I swear she's got some kind of obessesion with me, because she's not really this overfriendly with other people, just me!
I don't want to be harsh either...And I know I'm being seriously two faced to her, but I don't have the guts to tell her straight!
So any advice please?!

(sorry about the length)

Brighter x
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Postby PurePurple » Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:27 pm

Hey Brighter, I think the best thing to do is to let her down gently.. If she thinks she is your best mate she will understand if you tell her why she is annoying you. I know she might take a huge rant, but it's better if you tell her rather than to slag her off to mates, on Bebo or whatever.

Last edited by PurePurple on Thu Oct 04, 2007 7:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Stalker?

Postby retrochav » Wed Oct 03, 2007 11:50 pm

I kind of feel sorry for this girl because it seems to me that she has such little confidence or identity she is hoping some of your qualities can be learned. That doesnt mean you should accept so much pressure.

If you are finding it hard to tell her gently how you feel, talk to a teacher and tell them its affecting your work. You may wish to mention the touching - which whether straight or gay isnt appropriate if you dont want it.

Yes this will cause a little embarrassment to you both, but handled sensitively it is better than you loosing it and giving it to her both barrels.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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