real friend???

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real friend???

Postby jess123 » Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:34 pm

i have just moved to london and have found it hard to make friends, but when i got my job i thought things would change,i thought things were looking up when i became friends with this girl from my work,
we have arranged to meet up a few times after work, the first time we arranged to meet i was left waiting outside the train station for over an hour i tried to call her loads of times but no answer, when i asked her about it she told me she got arrested at the station for having a childs train ticket, so we arranged to meet up on sat and again i was left waiting and tried to call her loads, she didnt answer all weekend finally i managed to get hold of her today and she told me she droped her phone in a drink on friday night so couldnt call me.
now im just confused about the whole thing, does she really wanna be friends?? any advice??
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Postby bellajennie » Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:36 pm

Well if all is as she says then she's got to be one unlucky gal getting arrested by the Transport Police and dropping her phone in a drink in the same week. Either that or really extreme with excuses and something tells me that no-one could genuinely come up with those two in quick succession. I would give the girl the benefit of the doubt because she could genuinely have had things to deal with/broken phone etc. It is difficult when you move to another place, but maybe try not to pin all your hopes on this one person. There will be plenty of opportunities to meet other people. London's huuuuugee after all. Why not be blatant with your work colleagues and ask if you can go to lunch with them, or for a drink after work just to get to know everyone. I'm not sure where you work, but i'm sure your line manager would be happy to arrange something to get everyone together so you could get to know them.
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:37 am

Next time before meeting up tell her you will ring her an hour before to check all is still ok
If she dooesn't answer you got your answer
If she still says she'll meet you and doesn't turn up you also got your answer
If she turns up you can accept that perhaps she was tellin the truth but I don't think she will turn up the stories arejust too much to beleive

You could probably tell by asking for her some questions : her new number, ask what phone she is getting to replace the other one, what did she have before - These questions may put her on the spot and identify she is lying
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Postby sean83 » Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:40 pm

Personally I would'nt bother, even if her excuses were true, which I highly doubt they are, it shows she is completely unreliable anyway. The fact she did'nt have the courtesy to ring you the first time when she claims she got arrested and left you waiting there is just plain rude. My advice find somebody else.
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Postby Xpose soph 07 » Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:11 pm

Bel Bel has a good point....

Call her an hour before and if she doesn't answer then don't waste your time. If she is lying then shes not the sort of person you want to get involved with anyway so I would stay clear, you will make lots of nice new friends soon it just takes time, but in mean time yeah just keep your distance!
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:34 pm

Well, to me, her excuses seem more like a lie. Still, I guess you could try what Bel Bel said - to be more certain.
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Postby jess123 » Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:02 pm

update...
i arranged to meet her last friday for a drink after work, but she didnt show up for work!? so i tried to call her know answer, tryied to call her all weekend... no answer ALL weekend, then she txt me on monday morning telling me that her antie was in a coma and in the hospital and that she was there all weekend, so when i got to work i had a word with her about it all and told her that it seemed strange, and she said that it was all true and that she just has "really bad luck", then she gave me a cuddle.
im just confused as to why she would arrange to meet me and just not be there
thoughts please...
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:27 pm

It sure is confusing the way she never turns up - and not returning your calls and everything. Her excuses are hard to believe too or if they are true, it means she's really unlucky!

You could try again...but if it's me I would probably just find somebody else. I mean, London has loads of people. =)
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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:03 am

I think it's time to forget this friendship
You can still be polite an dchat but don't waste your time making any more arrangements
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Postby Xpose soph 07 » Wed Oct 24, 2007 12:07 pm

I think u should leave it now, be socialble when your at work together etc, but dont waste anymore of your time making plans with her when she doesnt keep stick to them.
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Postby pink stripes » Wed Oct 24, 2007 1:03 pm

Totally agree with what everything has said - it houldnt always be you trying to organise times etc for when you cqn both meet up.

She shows no respect for you when she doesn't turn up and doesn't return any of your calls.

Don't waste your energy on someone who, I think, obviously takes you for granted

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