Don't want to leave home town

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Don't want to leave home town

Postby sean83 » Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:27 pm

I've just graduated uni in web design, since then I've taken a temp job at my dads work place, until I get something better, its not the most glamourus job, I go around faulty lampost entering data into a computer.

Anyway, my sister who lives in Edinburgh recommended a recruiment agent she knows, my dad was saying I should apply around the country and jump at the opportunity as it will start my career. The only thing is all my best and closest friends are here in my hometown, it makes me depressed and sad just thinking about taken a job somewhere else and leaving everything behind. I've been thinking whats the point in having a good career if i'm just gonna be depressed and lonely.

My dad says I should do this anyway, as he wishes he had moved to south africa when he was younger, but he did'nt take it as his best friends were all at home, and wonders how his life would of been different. I'm really confused and depressed about this decision as I feel as I don't know whats best for me, I thought about just appyling for local jobs, but I am limiting myself.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? any advice would be much appreciated. :D
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:39 am

You are assuming all your friends will stay where they are

People move on themselves to other opportunites
People get married and have kids and aren't the same friends as when your young
People change (get into drugs) and you don't want them as your friend anymore
People meet someone and move away to be with them

If you move you can still come back to visit
You will get new friends
Could meet the love of your life
Get great opportunites that could bring you back to where you are now but in a better lifestyle

Just some things to consider
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Postby pink stripes » Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:34 pm

Bel Bel wrote:You are assuming all your friends will stay where they are

People move on themselves to other opportunites
People get married and have kids and aren't the same friends as when your young
People change (get into drugs) and you don't want them as your friend anymore
People meet someone and move away to be with them

If you move you can still come back to visit
You will get new friends
Could meet the love of your life
Get great opportunites that could bring you back to where you are now but in a better lifestyle

Just some things to consider


Bel Bel has pretty much sumed up what I was going to say :D

There are good and bad points about moving - like everything really. Yes you will miss your friends but you will always make news one. This is a really exciting prospect of moving :)
New place - new challanges :)

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Postby usually_lost_girl » Wed Oct 24, 2007 5:58 pm

you have to really decide what is more important to you. If your career is more important you should move. If for some reason your personal happiness relies on you being around family and friends you maybe shouldn't move (although - like as already said - you can't guarantee they will stay so be careful) I just know that when i had to move away to uni i was a mess - i couldn't bear being away from my support network - that is my family. I was depressed and lonely I realised then that being near to my family is just more important to my happiness then a career or money. I stuck it out and got my degree but i moved home straight after and probably will not move away again - even if it means giving up my first chioce of career. I'm not saying you should do the same though, i'm just saying whatever you decide is perfectly understandable.

I'm happy with my decision because i know i tried moving away and it proved to me that it wasn't for me. I wouldn't regret not having the career i wanted as long as i'd tried, so maybe you could give moving away a chance just to see if you could manage? You can always go home if you realise it's not for you.

Your dad is right to encourage you to take opportunities. I think you should look at moving away if you need to but don't worry if you try it and decide you don't want to anymore - your dad will be pleased that you at least gave yourself a chance.
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Postby peecee » Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:48 pm

Everybody's talking sense, hun! :P

First of all, don't think you SHOULDN'T take a local job, just because people are telling you to go further afield.

Anyway...:

When the time came for me to leave home, I REALLY didn't want to! My sister now tells me the same thing, although I didn't know it at the time. But our parents wanted us to experience life away from the nest, just so we had something to compare it to.

We did our time away, scared as heck, like every young person; gained new experiences, gained confidence, decided what of our home life we wanted to keep, moved on but kept the important bits with us - does that sound completely potty???? :D

Now my sister has settled down 50 miles away from "the nest", I live 35 miles away. All our friends have moved away, our mother died in the meantime, our father has moved into a nursing home near his/our home. "The nest" now is only in our heads. But it's still there.

But, me darling, it doesn't happen overnight, you have a right to be nervous, but I can tell you that it WILL pass, and you will discover new ground. You WILL come into your own; if you're happy not to move far away just now, please don't feel as if you're a failure or anything daft like that. You're young, you've got plenty of time to do anything you want, the only person you have to answer to is YOU.

Just learn from everything you do now, ok?

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Postby morris mouse » Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:15 pm

usually_lost_girl wrote:Your dad is right to encourage you to take opportunities. I think you should look at moving away if you need to but don't worry if you try it and decide you don't want to anymore - your dad will be pleased that you at least gave yourself a chance.


Hi,there!!

VERY big decision for you to make,here. [I'm sure that you know that!!]
I've read a lot of very good advice,and I can really only add to it.

As "usually_lost_girl" has said,I'm sure that your dad has your best
interests at heart. :)

I'm sure that if you moved away [as you said,you'd only be puting a
limit on yourself,if you applied for local jobs] it would help you realise what is away from home. :)
It may well open up a whole new world of opportunities for you :P
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Postby Xpose soph 07 » Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:30 pm

Hiya,

Change scares alot of people, most of us are so wrapped up in cotton wool then when it comes to making life changing decsions we freak out.

I agree with what everyone has said. People grow up and things change, we dont always want them to but its part of life, the world would be pretty boring otherwise dont you think?

Just because your moving away doesnt mean you will loose friends or be lonely, it will mean you will meet even more new people as well as ur old ones. There is a great big wide world out there and if u got an opputrunity to explore it, go do it, you'll only end up regretting it later. Dont be afraid to take a chance, its what lifes all about!!!!!
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:23 pm

Hey there!

Everyone here has said most of it. People grow up and have their own lives. There are many many people in the big wide world so you'll have many opportunities to meet new people.

It'll be a great experience for you being somewhere else different far away from home. Much as you do not want to leave all your friends, I think that this is a great opportunity.

It doesn't really mean you lose all of them. Try getting their email addresses or something and keep in touch. You may all drift apart eventually but as said before, people have their own lives and change etc.

Good Luck! :wink:
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