friends moving on

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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friends moving on

Postby usually_lost_girl » Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:45 pm

I've never had a lot of friends and as long as i've had one or two close friends that's always suited me fine. Recently my best friend has moved away to london (I live in yorkshire) to be with her new fiance. They've bought a house there and are planning their wedding. She went from being single and living at her parents house like me, to all this new stuff in the space of a year! Also, my sister has moved in with her b/f too and hardly ever wants to go out anymore like we used to.

I'm trying to move my life on to - and have moved out of my parents house to rent somewhere with a friend - but it doesn't feel like enough. I miss my old life and the way things used to be with my best mate and my sister. They were both always just around the corner and we saw and spoke to eachother all the time and now it feels like they've moved on and left me behind.

I do have some other frinds i'm getting to know now - especially the one i've moved in with - but i't would be years before i'd have with them what i had with my best friend and my sister. I can't replace people that important and close to me just like that. I'm still close to my sister and go to her house a lot and i know her b/f really well and get on great with them both but it's not the same. I feel like a spare wheel. And the same with my best friend although i never see her anymore - i can go visit and we e-mail a lot but again - it's not the same.

I'm happy for them moving on and getting what they want from life but i can't help feeling jealous and even bitter that not only am i being left behind - but they are leaving me behind because they now have all the things that I want!
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Postby Weasley » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:12 am

Unfortunately in life people grow up and their lives take them in different directions. I posted on a different thread here yesterday saying that I made a difficult move from the US to England 11 years ago, leaving behind all my child hood friends, my cousins, my immediate family and the only life I ever knew. It was so hard, I was in a strange country with only my mom, dad and brother. People would make fun at me in school because I had a different accent, I was hardly referred to by my first name, usually "The Yank", "Yankee Doodle" or something along those lines. I finally made good friends, but sadly I went to college, they stayed at school and we lost touch. Now I only have a few close friends, including my fiancee and the people I thought were my friends have all moved away, got married, had kids and generally got on with their lives. I know, it's hard. You get so used to something and then one day it's not there. You feel like there is this massive void in your life that only your friends and family can fill. What do you do then? Grit your teeth and accept it. Has your friend moved far away? Could you not visit one weekend and then she the next?
Sometimes life deals us a difficult hand and we have to make of it what we will. Don't lose contact with your friend and your sister. If they don't call you don't think "Oh she can't be bothered, she's got better things to do..." That was the mistake I made and I regret not keeping in contact with my old friends but sadly, too much time has passed now, they probably don't even remember me!
As for been jealous, I don't think that's the case at all. So what if your life hasn't turned out like theirs? People move on at different paces. My best friend is getting married next year and for a while I felt a little jealous but then realised, my time will come. You time will come too, so what if it's not right now? Just enjoy your life and make the most and everything and everyone in it. I'm sure you will be fine!
Sorry for my extremely long post but this kind of thing is very close to my heart. Hope it has helped anyway!
xxx :)
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:24 am

Hi there!

I agree with Weasley. At least you're still keeping in touch. If your best friend is living somewhere near, try visiting. Or, you could invite her to watch a movie or something once in a while. People grow up and have their own lives so it's hard to keep in touch at times.

It's good that you are happy for them. As for being jealous, your time will come too, just as Weasley said.

Take care and hope this helps a little! =)
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