I hate my friends boyfriend

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I hate my friends boyfriend

Postby Louxx » Tue Nov 06, 2007 10:47 pm

Not sure if this is a friend problem or a partner problem - I don't have a problem with my friend M but I sure have a problem with her choice in men. I've been friends with M since school and she's never had much luck in the boyfriend department but the guy she's going out with at the moment is such a waste of space. I used to get on with him ok, and he's always been nice to me but he treats M like rubbish. If she goes out, he bombards her with questions about where she's been and who she's been talking to so much that she barely goes out any more. Once, he was so sure that she was cheating on him (she's not!) that he smashed up her flat and even gave her a black eye (though she swears it was only that one time). They broke up for about a day after that, but sure enough they got back together again. Now she's talking about getting married and I really don't want to see her stuck with him for good. I've tried talking to her but have run out of things to say. What should I do??

edited by all_apologies: no swearing please
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Postby misskrystal » Tue Nov 06, 2007 10:53 pm

Just support her. You'll never change her mind about him and even if she does leave him, she'll probably go back. The best thing you can do is be there for her, because when he hurts her again and he will, she'll need her friends.

It doesn't mean you have to like what's happening and it doesn't mean you can't be honest about the fact that you don't like the way he treats her, but if you push her away, she'll have no one to go to when she needs help.

Hopefully one day she'll see sense and leave, but until then, there's not much you can do.
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Postby pink stripes » Tue Nov 06, 2007 11:08 pm

hey louxx

I just want to say that your friend is very luck to have you by her side :)

Ok well first of all for him to hit her its inexcusable - doesn't matter if it was only once. It shouldn't of even happened in the first place.

I really would advise her against this wedding - how does she know that he wont hit again? if he hasn't already? Is she trully safe with him?

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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Nov 07, 2007 1:26 pm

She has obviously got self esteem issue if she is allowing herself to be treated like this
I think the more you try to talk her out of being with him the more she'll try to prove it's working
You could just point out she doesn't come out much anymore and make a regular night with her, if she says he won't like it all you can do is plant seeds in her head about how in a loving relationship you need freedom, trust and no controlling behaviour. Hoepfully she will come to her own conclusion and decide to leave
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