Loving a friend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Loving a friend

Postby hemase » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:47 pm

I am in love with my best friend, who is married to another of my very good friends. We are incredibly close although she has never had any feelings other than friendship for me.
I am godfather to their beautiful children and I am made to feel part of their family, her brother has also become a very good friend to me.
I am finding it very hard to move on from these feelings, I know there is little or no chance of anything happening and for the sake of the friendship part hopes it does not.
I don't know how to move past the way I am feeling without cutting these people from my life, this is something I do not want to do but I want to move my life forward.
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Postby faithful friend » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:32 pm

:D hi there hemase hi i thought id write to say sort of in the same predicment so your not alone have feeling s for my best mate to but im the other way round my best mate is marride i am a god mother to my best mate kid and she is marride aND I KNOW NOTHING CAN COME OF IT SHE NOT INTRESTED BUT THE THING I SEE IS THAT YOU GOT TWO CHOICE S DEAL WITH IT LIKE COME TO TERMS WITH IT TELL HER AND SAY TO YOUR SELF YES YOU DO LOVE HER OR HIM BUT YOU WANT THEM HAPPY AND LOVING SOMEONE MEAN LETTING THEM GO OR YOU CAN STOP THE FRIEND SHIP AND THINK TO YOUR SELF WHY YOU RUINED A PERFECT GOOD FRIENDSHIP AND REGRET IT CAUSE I WOULD HOPE I HELP IF YOU DO COME UP WITH THE WRITE ANSERER I WOULD BE INTRESTED TAKE CARE MARIA
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Postby hemase » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:25 pm

You are right in that I want her to be happy. The person she is with is a great guy and a very good friend of mine. I am happy that they are happy. He is in the army and spends a lot of time to together. Do you think it is making it worse for me that sometimes I feel as though I am being used as a surrogate husband at these hard times
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:01 am

Yea, I agree with faithful friend. You shouldn't tell your best friend you have feelings for her as if you do, there's a big chance that you will lose this friendship.

You want her to be happy and she has a good relationship with her own husband and you know she has no feelings for you. So even if you tell her, there will most probably be no relationship between you and her.

Hope this helps.
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Re: Loving a friend

Postby retrochav » Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:16 pm

Great as it is to feel part of a family, like a "husband-in-law", it either breeds deep feelings of being used, or of being in love.

My advice is to keep the friendship, but expand outwards to make new friends. This will allow you to regain perspective and dilute your feelings without risking the friendship you treasure so much.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby hemase » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:57 pm

Retrochav, that is some of the best advice I have recieved on this matter, thank you. You hit the nail on the head with the feeling of being used bit. This person admitted to me last week that she is a rubbish friend really, taking more than she gives in this relationship.
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