My friends trying to make me do things i don't enjoy!

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My friends trying to make me do things i don't enjoy!

Postby helo_smelly » Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:42 pm

Please help me!
My friend is always trying to make me go out to local gigs and things, but i find them boring!
I've been to tonnes of gigs before and they are too loud to speak to anyone I always think that people just go to be seen. I'm happy being myself, but my friend always brings the issue up infront of people and it makes me feel akward and boring because they all go out aswell.
She also thinks getting drunk is the best thing to do and she always says; what, you're going to sit at home and go on the internet and watch the tv!? :(
Plus you have to pay up to 3 pounds to get in and they end up standing outside everytime (and its cold!)
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Re: My friends trying to make me do things i don't enjoy!

Postby retrochav » Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:22 pm

Strange that you get dragged along and others dont! Doesnt this "interesting" friend have other people to go gigs with? Or are they "boring" too!

You have every right to say no to your mate. If she likes gigs, good for her, she should go alone and meet like minded friends for the purpose of companionship. If you prefer to spend time indoors (and who can blame you in these cold, dark days) then you should do so with pride.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:07 am

If you don't like it then just tell you that you'd rather stay at home and relax. It's better than being forced to do something you don't like. Let her do gigs by herself with other people who want to!
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:11 am

next time she brings it up in front of people say
actually it would be a really boring world if we all liked doing the same stuff, i just like to do what i like not what i think i should be doing at this age becasue everyone else is doing it
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Postby lovage » Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:19 am

just be straight with your friend! tell her how you feel about al of this!¬ if she was any real friend she would acept that you dont want to go out and do that kind things etc! and if she cant acept that then belve me hun she aint a real friend!

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Postby captainf » Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:43 am

I must say I sympathise with you. Although I dont mind going to gigs, I do enjoy them, but when it comes to nightclubs, I absolutely despise those places and I can completely understand your frustration.

If you dont want to go to these things, dont go. So what if you pick the TV + Internet over a club. To be honest id pick the the TV and net over getting drunk and clubbing.

The point of this is that you are who you are. Your friend is being incompatible with you - not respecting your wishes not to go to gigs + clubs etc. If you dont want to go then your friend should respect that and make plans with you to do other things. She can always kill her liver and waste her life away when she isnt hanging out with you.
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Postby helo_smelly » Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:22 pm

Thanks for your advice, but even when I say to her i want to relax at home, she still doesn't take no for an answer, she says i can relax by going to gigs, and its not like i dont like gigs, i only go when i actually want to see a band.
she was also saying 'how are you ever going to meet anyone!?'
but i don't see the whole point, it doesn't seem right to go out looking for a boyfriend, i think it should just happen.
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:28 am

Stay firm and make it clear that you DO NOT want to go out for gigs. Don't let yourself be pushed around by her. Tell her that there are other ways to meet people like through a club instead of going to gigs.

Hope this helps.
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Postby captainf » Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:04 pm

I stand by what I said before, if you dont wanna go, dont. Shes a bad friend and you'd be better off without. You wont necessarily meet someone at a gig anyway - tell her that.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
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Postby Weasley » Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:38 pm

Is there places that she doesn't like to go? Next time she tries and persuades you to go with her just say "Well, do you want to go to...?" I'm with Captain Flynn, I absolutely hate nightclubs, I couldn't think of a place I'd rather not be, but the problem is my friends love them! I had the same problem - they would ask me to go and I'd be like "well, I don't really want to.." and they'd persuade me and I'd end up having a bad night. Now they don't even ask because they know what the answer is (my friend hates gigs also, whereas I do like them, so I used to say "Well, would you go to a gig with me?" then she would understand!)
It's all down to personal preference and your friend should respect that.

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