Hard to keep a conversation going with a friend...

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Hard to keep a conversation going with a friend...

Postby HappyGoLucky » Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:48 am

I find it hard to chat with my friend because he gives these one word answers sometimes and leaves me to find a topic for the conversation. He just broke up with his girlfriend recently so I know that he's probably going through a tough time so I told him that he could always talk to me if he needed someone to talk to. We get along quite well, but it's always me who says "hi" to him to start a conversation on MSN.

I'm quite tired of being the one who has to think of a topic to keep the conversation running. Sometimes he seems to be in quite a talkative mood but other times he seems so quiet and difficult to talk to.

What should I do? It really bothers me sometimes when he remains silent...
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:21 pm

you need to try and think of questions that he can't answer with one owrd
like
What have you been doing today?
If he has a hobby ask him how it's going?

If he is still not giving you feed back maybe you just have to accept that sometimes he is a quite person and just leave him alone at those times

You could even say, your not very chatty tonight everything ok?

Hope this helps anyway
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:45 am

I asked him if he was busy and he said he wasn't. Then I pointed out that he was being rather quiet and asked if there was anything wrong. He said there wasn't anything wrong. Then he said he was doing something so I said: "Okay then. Bye." because I could not think of anything else to say to him.

He is quite chatty sometimes but other times he's just quiet all of a sudden.
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Postby Bel Bel » Fri Dec 14, 2007 12:33 pm

It may be he keeps the computer on to see what is going on but is actually doing something else at the same time
It's a bit rude but the times he talks to you properly he obviously isn't distracted with anything else
Just enjoy the chats when you can get them and back off when you sense he doesn't want to talk
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Sat Dec 15, 2007 3:08 am

I was out with my cousin a few days ago. I was in the middle of messaging him when he suddenly stopped replying. I thought that he was probably busy. Before he stopped replying, he asked us both out for an outing. A few hours later, he called my cousin when we were having dinner. I asked my cousin if she knew what time it was but she had forgotten to ask him, so I asked him instead almost immediately after the call. He didn't reply me but when my cousin asked him something else, he did reply her. :-?

Altogether he never replied about 3 of my messages. I just wonder why he wouldn't reply me but would reply my cousin instead. I don't think he knew we were at the same place anyway.
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Postby morris mouse » Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:03 am

Bel Bel wrote: Just enjoy the chats when you can get them and back off when you sense he doesn't want to talk


I agree with "Bel Bel"

Could I suggest that,perhaps,your friend is just shy.
This would make it difficult for him to talk to you.

As "Bel Bel" has said,give him "space" when he needs it & enjoy
talking to him,when you can. :D
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Wed Dec 19, 2007 5:02 am

Morris Mouse, I don't think he's shy - to me. It just doesn't really fit.

I talked to him two days ago and he was quite chatty so I guess I'll just back off when he doesn't want to chat.

Thanks all!
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Postby Yellowcoaching » Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:14 pm

If you're chatting on MSN it can be that the one word answers are due to him being online for other reasons at the same time.

Open questions are those that can't be answered with one word
e.g What do you like about....
rather than
Do you like...

so you could try that especially if you are talking face to face but apart from that I wouldn't read too much into it at this point.
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