No Friends

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Postby dayle » Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:03 am

Hi Lisa,

I'm 27. When I was at primary school, I initially had friends but in the last year everyone fell out with the girl I was closest to and because I stayed friends with her I was frozen out too - and then she moved schools. Like you, I thought secondary school would be a big improvement but it wasn't. I ended up being bullied by a significant proportion of the year - things like every boy in the class would ask me out but in a really nasty way. I was absolutely convinced that I would never have friends outside my family. I took the first opportunity to leave school and went to a 6th form college - it was completely different and I made some real friends there. And like the others have said joining clubs and meeting people from outside school can be helpful. I found having a pen-pal helped, it might seem pathetic to outsiders but it helps to have someone external to talk to (and it's much easier now the internet has taken off). It's very hard to let your guard down when you've been bullied.

I don't win any prizes in the beauty stakes but I now have friends and a partner who make me feel attractive. Plus most of the cool and successful people I've met - including one friend who was convinced she was hideous and went on to work as a celebrity interviewer in a magazine - have had similar experiences to yours. It is character building.
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Postby random_chick7 » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:58 pm

you sound a little bit like me, i used to have no friends, am still ugly and chubby but 2 make friends i actually found something i was good at, im actually quite funny! so i started that 2 make jokes in class and i actually got noticed!!!!!
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Postby moving2spain » Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:43 pm

i think that bullies bully people to bring them down, they look at the person they are bullying and are envious and feel that they should bring them down to make themselves feel better. i was only bullied by my group of friends (which isnt the beat up kind) i was bullied by people saying i wasnt good at dancing when i was the only one in dance class my friends wouldnt let me join in with a leaving dance for my best friend (who i had known from primary and she was a proper friend) they aid my hair was like tina turner because i used to diffuse it to curl it. they used to spread untrue rumours or twist things i said! but i stayed friends with these girls, they even followed me to college although i made more friends there. we had a big falling out and because i then had proper friends i felt i could speak my mind and we never spoke since. i can honestly say cutting them out of my life was the best thing i ever did i know they were jelous because my family were better off than them and other things which never made a difference to me. this all happened when i was age 13-17, i am now 24 and they still haunt my dreams. it sounds weird but they affected me so much i dream they are still bullying me.

my advice is get your head down finish school and when you start work make new friends, people grow up believe it or not and bullying stops, when you are settled down in the future you will look back and think why did i let it affect me so much they were children. i'm only 24 and now you are probably thinking that these kids are the worst in the world but you are better than them. to be honest i dont believe that ure ugly and your parents arent helping saying that u are!
its probably only puppy fat you still have and it will come off in good time, a lot of unattractive people go on to be gorgeous in later life!
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Postby Scott Summers » Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:01 pm

I have a friend and trust me he wins no prizes in the handsome category. But that doesn't stop him being the most popular person in our circle of friends, or stop nice girls hanging off him.

The two most important things are confidence and the ability to take things with a pinch of salt.
Scott Summers
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