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So called "best friend"

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:01 pm
by Luvvedupbutlonely
Okay so i have this best friend who i care about so much and i really do love. Weve got a history together and before we became friends we used to get together a lot when we were out and go out to the cinemas and things.

However my friend went and got a girlfriend so obviously he had no feelings for me and i had to face facts and move on. We lost touch a lot and i only used to see him when he was out with his girlfriend. He then cheated on his girlfriend with me after he had told me that they had broken up but they hadn't. She never found out.

Last month they broke up and since then we have become the closest friends you will ever meet but the problem is he lies to me so much. I do not trust him at all and the big problem is that all my old feelings are coming back! And hes having a really tough time at the minute with everything especially girls and he tells me it all and it is so hard for me to handle. But i think that to be a good friend i have to do it and listen and be there for him but inside it really hurts.

So i want to know do i tell him that i cant do it anymore and tell him how i feel? Or do i just keep going like i am hoping one day he may like me as more than a friend and stop lying to be about everything?

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:11 pm
by missyx
Tell him the truth - but be prepared for the fact he might not feel the same. Could you handle that? Surely it's better to know the truth.

Also, if he does say he feels the same, please be careful. You obviously feel very strongly about him, but remember he's cheated once, and lied to you too. If you think you'll be able to learn to trust him, then go for it. If not, it may be better to cut your loses and stop seeing him altogether, even though I realise that would be extremely hard.

He's broken up with his ex quite recently, so also watch out for rebound! Take things slowly.

Anyway, you are clearly tearing yourself apart over this. Pluck up your courage and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same, at least you can start trying to move on. Hopefully though it'll be good news.
Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:05 am
by Yellowcoaching
I think this guy has shown he can be dishonest, he cheated on his girlfriend to be with you but then didn't end things with her. I'd be very wary of getting into a relationship with him.

If you do feel you want to tell him how you feel and he feels the same way then I think you need to get some proof he can be truthful with you and then take it very slowly as he builds trust.