I'm losing my "brother"... (VERY Long..)

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I'm losing my "brother"... (VERY Long..)

Postby Armani » Tue Feb 26, 2008 2:17 am

Hi everyone, Sorry if this is long but please bear with me, I need your help..

Well this situation really passed me a lot, I had a lot of friend's come and go throughout my entire life and I never regretted a second of losing any of them for whatsoever the reason, even best one's that I have come to keep in a special place in my heart but never have I endured such a situation as the one I'm going to explain..

We met in school around 5 or 6 year's ago, I'm serious since day one it's been me and him all the way till now, we did everything together, we were mainly 7 guy's who were alway's together (BTW it's kinda different from where I come from, I'm not from the UK but I come from a small country) we're all related somehow, cousin's and friend's, slowly over the year's over the memories and over the day's we spent doing everything together we sort of became brother's us 7, I wished it would never end, but unfortunetly life alway's has a surprise up around the corner and that's when we finished our IGCSE's and graduated from high school. Spent a year in seperate universities in our own country but that was okay since we were all within driving reach, but then one day he (The one who is the most dear to me from us 7 guy's) called me and told me about the thing I've been wanting to do my entire life, the national airline was constantly sending batches of people to the UK to train commercial pilot's, so we signed up and yes we both got in, along with another 13 people.

So we went to prep class in our country first for two month's and everything started going downhill.. He started getting close with some strange people at the beginning that was okay since it was normal considering we should socialize with the people who we were going to share the next year in the UK with. Then we came to UK, guess what they seperated me and him into different residences, half of the batch with me and the other with him. For 4 month's he got close to his batch and I got close to mine and the only time we got together were on weekend's, now I was entirely fine with this because I was not realizing what he was doing with those guy's, as long as I did'nt see it I was absolutely okay with it. But then I started to miss him, so I went to stay with him for a couple of hour's and he said that he might request to move to my place since he's not spending time with me anymore, I told him bluntly to forget it.. Because I was doing it and man was he happy.

Note the sacrifice I'm making for my friend, I'm going to go live in his residence leaving the company of people I have started to enjoy my time with for the past 4 month's to live in the same building my friend was in and the guy's who I only know at class.

He gave me a really warm welcome, so did all the other gentlemen.. That was the first day.. It was great, second day was fine, third was okay but on the fourth I started doubting what I just did.

The situation became so wierd, when we sat alone whether in his room or mine, we barely found thing's to talk about and there were a lot of empty moment's - back at home we 7 were jabbering chatterboxes and never had a quiet moment.. What's happening now ? I set it aside and said time will heal this. What made it worse was he was starting to get really close to these other guy's, going out with them (But he sometimes asked me but most of the time I never went because he knew I was'nt up for it), socializing with them more than me, having fun with stranger's and not with a 6 year old friend, sharing stuff with them that might not be shared with me or so I heard.. I am a jealous person and talked to a lot of people about it, they said it's okay this is what happens when you leave your home and live in another country with strangers, when you get back home everything will be fine. But everytime he laugh's or even enjoy's his time with one of these guy's I burn a little inside, I hate it so much when it happens right in front of me.. It's even getting hard to look him in the eye for more than 5 second's..

Christmas we went back home for the holiday's and guess what everything was okay again, we were with our other 5 buddies and we spent every minute together and he didnt even see or recieve a call or even call any person from our study group. We talked about it with our buddies and they said we are both wrong, that he was wrong for spending more time on those idiot's and forgetting about me and I was wrong for taking this too seriously and shouldnt let every little thing affect it, they had a good point were not children anymore. But I cant overcome this jealousy. I talked to my mom about it, she said this situation that I'm in is the one where you know who your real friends are so I shouldnt think about it all and just pass it away. She's right i mean I'm not here for psychological trouble, I came here to get a pilot's license and this is killing my mind slowly.

Anyways were back in the UK again and thus again for the past 3 month's we've been drifting again and I really feel like he doesn't give a monkeys about what's happening and he keep's asking me if he want's us to go through this again, he said it before and will say again that I am his brother and no other person will take my place in his life from our study group, but that's not what I'm seeing or feeling.. Sometime's he teases me in front of these guy's but I know he's just joking around and I shouldnt take it seriously, but still I have this feeling inside that is'nt pleasing to me heart or mind. I'm too attached to him and I'm afraid of the bond breaking.

The situation is were going to Spain in 2 week's to start flying and look's like were sharing room's together for 2 whole month's, now if it's hard enough to keep 5 minute's active with him how can I endure 2 months in the same room.. ?!

I don't know, please help me out here, what should I do, what should I expect from him.. What gonna happen, how can I improve the situation ?!

Right now all I'm thinking about is hoping all the guy's have a plane crash and only me and him survive.. That is quite immature but I'm spilling it all out because I havent said this much before about my dilemma..

:(
Armani
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:40 am

I am concerned at how jealous you get though. One day this man will meet a girl and inevitably they will want to spend lots of time together.
Perhaps it is better when you share your time with other people, this was working for you before in your first shared house.
When the training is over where will you go? will you both go back to your country. It seems here you have your good friends so if things don't work out with you and your brother friend then you have your other friends to turn to
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Postby Armani » Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:03 pm

Well to summarise it, I understand he will meet a woman someday and settle down and that's inevitable and that I will accept whatsoever happen's ofcourse, but it's just that I disapprove of strange people that he like's and that I don't like, but that is also understandable because he has spent some more time with them than I did..

I don't know I still like i'm not one of his priorities anymore.. :(
Armani
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:07 pm

I think that is the problem you feel sad he has made new friends and that is why you have got jealous
I do understand it but people do grow apart unfortunately
Try and make some new friends to spend more time with, you may actually come to find a friend who will become just as close to you as the current friend
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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