Anyone help me?

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Anyone help me?

Postby Sponged » Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:46 pm

Got a horrible problem that won't go away and is ruining my life! I moved away from home on my own when i was 16, i didn't know anyone i just wanted to get away from the rough area where i grew up. After settling into my new flat and starting my new job i became really good friends with one of my work mates (who is also a girl). I have alway's been confused about my sexuality ever since i was very young, obviously growing older i realised i was bisexual. Anyway, this girl that befriended me " 5 years ago" i fell in love with and to this day i cannot get her out of my head and is killing me! We are now best friends and do everything together, litterally. When we have been drinking we always end up in bed but never gets mentioned after, she always carrys on as if nothings happened. After about 2 years i finally sat her down and told her how i feel... big mistake! She said she loves me to bits but only as a friend and nothing more which hurt more than anything i had ever experienced in my life. I have had 2 relationships in the last 5 years with both lovely guys that loved me the way i love her but i had to let them go as i knew i could never feel the same and wasn't fair on them. I moved away last year to get away and sort my head out but after a very short time away i had to go back because i missed her soooo much. Again, 3 years on i told her again how i feel as i thought she felt the same but no, and it hurts sooo much. I get mixed feeling from her all the time, she always seems to go out and pull "guys" but whenever it starts to get serious she backs off which leads me to think its because she loves me. There is a 10 year age gap between us and she always goes on about settling down and having a family so i dont know if she is just hiding her feelings to live life how people expect her to or she does genuinly not feel the same. I just wish i could control my feelings for her and get on with my life but i can't seem to do that, i suppose i am just waiting/hoping that she will feel the same. Can anyone suggest anything for me to move on and be happy?x
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:07 am

I'm sorry that she doesn't feel the same way towards you. I know how hurt you are at the moment but just be glad that you know how she feels before your feelings get any deeper. Maybe she pulls away from other guys because she doesn't want to start anything serious yet.

Maybe you could stop contacting her for a while. However, it does make things harder as you see her at work. There may be times when you feel the need to talk to her but you could write it all down (or type it here) when you do. Occupy yourself and you can join a club of your interests.

I know how hard it is. Good luck and I hope this helps.
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:17 pm

I think she is frightened to admit she too is bisexual but you cannot make that happen it will happen when it'r the right time for her
You could try moving away again but it didn't work before
I sorry to say I am not really sure what the answer is but you really shouldn't let her sleep with you when she's drunk because she is getting what she wants without having to commit at all
Maybe if she doesn't get you anymore in that way she will be forced to make a decision about coming out
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