Friend with Problems

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Friend with Problems

Postby Bekolina » Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:46 am

Basically, a friend tonight told me that he's started doing heroin. And I'm worried, seriously worried about him. He has quite a self destructive personality in that he self-harms and I knew he'd been doing weed and Es but I didn't realise that it had come to this.

One of the issues I have with this is that a couple of months ago we dated but it didn't work out and I broke it off. After breaking up with him he was horrible to me and I spent about two months with him making my life hell through various texts he sent and rumours he spread (we are both on the same course and university). Anyway due to our course, a couple of weeks ago, we were required to work toggether on a project for a few weeks, and so he apologised which I accepted despite the fact that some things I have found hard to forgive him.

Now the friendship level isn't like it was before we broke up and I'm quite surprised he's told me this and he's made me promise not to tell anyone else. I don't feel very comfortable talking in detail about it because I am still not sure how I feel about him because of our past. But I am very worried about him and I can see he's on a downhill slide.

Any suggestions of what I could do? I know I'm in a bit of a tricky situation. I don't want to mention it to one of his closer friends in case he hasn't said anything to them. I'm scared of upsetting him because I know what he's reacted like in the past...
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Postby brfc » Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:31 am

at the end of the day hard though it is theres not alot you can do! it needs to be his decision too give up the drugs. no one else can force him too change. all you can do is be there for him if he decides too give up the drugs.
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:50 am

Try persuading him to go for rehab. Do you know why he self-harms? Is he depressed? You could try asking him if he has any difficult problems at the moment.
brfc is right. At the end of the day, your friend has to decide for himself whether he wants to quit. All you can do is just be supportive if he agrees to stop taking drugs.
Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get!
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Postby Bekolina » Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:13 am

The thing is he started self-harming after we split and it's really a subject I don't want to bring up, because I suspect that had something to do with it. I really don't feel comfortable getting suddenly emotionaly involved with this guy again yet I'm already worrying about him. I guess all I can do is be there for him I'm just finding it a bit strange that he's gone from not talking to me to confiding things such as this in 2 weeks.
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:35 am

Maybe he thinks you're the only person who would understand? Can you at least try to persuade him to stop taking drugs? If he refuses to, guess you can only be there for him...much as you would want to help him.
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Hello

Postby Lizzie_23 » Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:42 pm

Hi,

I am quite surpised that he has confined in you about this after he caused you a lot of grive after your break up but perhaps its because he's realised he feels that he can talk to you and that he had to get it off his chest.

Its hard in a way because you are at uni doing the same course, and you have to work on a prject with him so you cant exactly have a breather from him! but it is up to you if you want to listen to him or not and if you don feel you can because you feel he mite drag you down with him do say. Its not easy to hear a friend going through something like this. If you want to listen to him do but no one can force to do anything you dont want to do. I would try to persuade him to talk to someone professional about it.

There must be a reason/s as to why he is doing this to himself, whether he dislikes himself, bullied, family problems, insecurity.
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