fallen out with friend....

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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fallen out with friend....

Postby miaow » Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:27 pm

aI have a good group of friends, but only a handful i would trust my secrets to! 3 of us went away in summer 2006 and we all fell out, i made friends with them both and although they have been out on nights since the other 2 didnt really forgive each other.

When we have all been out they have been ok as there are that many of us they dont have to actually talk to each other, although they are polite to each other.

I noticed last oct that one of them - mate A - stopped contacting me as much (we use to speak on phone every day, text, email, and were really close, etc). It came to xmas and when we all went out for the girls xmas nite out (i didnt actually go) this friend never contacted me, yet still went. I rang her the following day and said look is there problem have i done something - her reply was sorry she should have seen if i was going out as well she just presumed i was, she had been giving me wide berth because of the other friend - mate B - - she doesnt mind odd night out with her but doesnt want to go out with mate b all the time. I had been inviting both of them out when i went out yet mate a would go out and not invite me making excuse id of invited mate b along too - which i wouldnt have done if she'd of explained that she felt uncomfortable around her etc.

Anyhow - new year came and went, i explained to mate b about mate a feeling uncomfortable around her so sometimes if i went out with her she may not always be invited, and i told them both i didnt want to get involved in their 'rift'; i wanted to be friends with both of them.

mate b and me are just carryin on as usual. its now mate a's bday and she has invited me out but said do i mind if mate b isnt invited- i said no problem nothing to do with me who you invite. Then i wen tout other night with mate b, and mate a was out with friends i know and looked so embarrassed i'd seen her out and i hadnt been invited that she mumbled somet and ran off, then that group kept giving funny smirks all night so i left bar.

i've text her since and said look, i feel like im being punished because you dont want to be friends with mate b, yet i do. i've tried several times to get things back on track and after the night in the bar with the stupidness and smirking i give up, and to just leave it at that. She replied saying fine - and then started babblingon about mate b. Point i keep thinking is that i'm being shut out of our 'normal friends' activites and nights out and i feel like she wants me to be part time mate for when she has nothing to do - ie can contact me.

just wondered what peoples views are. We are all in our late 20's. I' just tired of trying to save our friendship after so many failed attempts since oct,and no effort from her.


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Postby HappyGoLucky » Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:40 pm

Maybe you should stop trying to save the friendship. After all, friendship only works when 2 people work at it. It seems like A just waits for you to save the friendship whenever it fails. B sounds nice enough - doesn't seem to mind when you hang out with A. Unfortunately, you can't force people to like each other!

Try making new friends now. You can remain friends with A and B but maybe not too close to A. A sounds like she's treating you as a part-time friend which is not a nice thing, of course! Take a step back for once and see what happens.

Hope this makes sense and helps!

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