no way out

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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no way out

Postby lilcutie » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:32 pm

So this will probably be long..apologies..but i really need help!

Basically, i'm at university and i made a wicked friend who i thought was amazing and couldnt believe my luck - didnt think anything of it considering that i'm straight and i've never liked a girl before. However, over the christmas holidays we spent a lot of time talking about her problem with her best friend who she had fallen in love with. This best friend had been sleeping with ehr, while having a boyfriend and my friend was confused of her feelings for her and felt like a mug, seeing as the friend had no intention of splitting from her bf because of their relationship, but just becasue she felt it wasnt working out.

But anyway, Since then we have got closer an closer and i started to develop feelings for her. She was attracted to me back, but both of us knowing that she was already in love with somebody else, saw it as a bit of fun which would go nowhere else. However, as she started to talk more on the phone to the girl she was in love with around me, i started to feel jealous and realise i had more feelings for her than i first thought, and since that moment arose, we became inseperable for the last 3 weeks of this term at university, and things became so intense between us that it was almost like she was in love with 2 people at the same time.

However, she told me that she has been distancing herself from this other girl, but i find it really hard to believe that nothing is going on between them as they have been so close in the past. Since we broke up from uni on Thursday, she has spent all weekend so far with her, staying at her house with friends. This scares me because she talks about me being her potential girlfriend but i am scared that this other girl is more attractive than me and that i will simply just be forgotten over this month away from university. Spending more time with her might relight fires, as i know that spending so much time with me lit one between us, and im worried it might just go out now that im so far away..

I need your advice so badly because i am so scared that i am falling in love with her, and I am scared that i am forgetting myself in the process. Im scared of how jealous i get knowing that shes with someone else, and I feel so upset thinking about the prospect that i could just be forgotten, and that the past 3 weeks were just a phase for her, when its certainly been the opposite for me.

Im feeling very trapped like theres no way out of this!
Please offer me some advice!!
MUCH APPRRECIATED

Thanks
x x x
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Postby bellajennie » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:08 pm

Are you actually interested in having a relationship with your friend, because as far as she understands, you have been a mega-supportive friend to her about her love life. She probably has no clue that you have these feelings about her. Would you want to further the friendship?
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Postby lilcutie » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:12 pm

i told her ages ago so she definitely knows and since then we have spent nights in each others arms kissing.
she tells me shes emotionally involved in me but cant carry on when shes emotionally involved with someone else.
she has told me today that she slept with her over the weekend, and now im even more messed up than before.
i feel like i gave her my all and that shes become my everything, and now it feels that ive lost everything.
please help
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Postby peecee » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:41 pm

lilcutie wrote:im straight but i seriously think im in love with my best girl friend. in the last few weeks of this term of university we have grown really close and i ended up revealing tht i liked her. since that day we became inseperable, spending most days hanging out with eachother, hugging and kissing and staring into eachothers eyes.

however, it tears me up because shes in love with somebody else who she says isn't emotionally involved with her. yet she slept with her over the weekend and i feel totally horrible because i hate that shes involved with me but cannot fully become involved with me because shes in love with someone else who i cannot stand. when i found out today that she had slept with her i could not hold back tears any longer and have spent most of today in bursts of tears because i cannot imagine my life right now without her by my side.

she tells me tht i mean so much to her and that as much as she doesnt want to give us up she doesnt think its fair on me..

what the hell do i do about this? do i keep fightng? or do i accept i am fighting a losing battle and find someone else who i will be number one with.?

shes just so amazing and i dont want to lose her

please help me
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:30 pm

Sorry but I think you should try forgetting about the feelings for your best friend, much as it's hard to. I don't think she should give you kisses and everything as she doesn't seem like she's intending to start anything serious with you. I think she merely sees you as a best friend. It's upsetting but try to move on. After all, you're still young.

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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:43 pm

tell her she knows what it is like to messed around and how it mess's with your head and ask her to be totally straight with you
at least you will know where you stand
if she says she doesn't know move on and don't allow her to use you until she does know what she wants
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Postby fiftyone » Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:55 am

Painful though it might be NOW it seems it would be better for you in the LONG TERM to exit now as your friend sounds messed up by too much choice and no real knowing what she wants. You've helped her all you can.
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