Feel like I've made a mistake :(

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Feel like I've made a mistake :(

Postby DoodlePlex » Wed May 21, 2008 2:10 pm

My friend invited me to go on a trip with her to America for four days during the summer.

We're both trying to find work, we've just left education, and we're supposed to be moving in together in her student house which requires rent to be paid and bills. She arranged this trip with someone else who says that he'll pay for it now and we'll pay him back later.

I asked her about holiday dates and she reckons we'll work temporary jobs around the dates, but I'm worried that other companies may not appreciate this on our CVs (already got two other events planned in the summer).

She says she'll be gutted if she doesn't get to go, and she doesn't want to go without me. Last night she said it was my last chance to decide or that was it. So I said yes, because she was so excited about it and I love making her happy. Now it's the morning and I'm already regretting it. I hardly slept, or haven't eaten, and I've been crying and feeling lousy about it. I really don't want to go because of work/money worries, and I don't think she understands this.

If I get blamed for not being spontaneous one more time I'm going to scream. I really don't know what to do. :(
DoodlePlex
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 7:25 am

Postby mandyxoc » Wed May 21, 2008 2:45 pm

Hi Doodleplex

Firstly, do you want to go on the trip - all money/work worries aside? You shouldn't only go because your friend wants to because you will not enjoy it.

You are still young (i'm guessing) and just out of education so now is the best time to do these things before you settle down. I honestly dont think a company would mind if you done some temping before you got a permanent job. Also what it to stop you getting a permanent job before you go? Its only four days and when you start a new job they will (in my experiance) honour any holidays you have booked.

Can I just ask why is it only 4 days? Thats an awfully long way away to go for such a short trip (once again I'm assuming you live in the UK lol).

It might not be a good idea to owe some one money for something if your not sure you can afford to get it back to them either. Do you know this person well?
Mandy Xx
mandyxoc
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 94
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:22 pm
Location: scotland!!
Gender: Female

Postby weatherman78 » Thu May 22, 2008 9:56 am

Hi there

I agree with what mandy has said about the temping and the issue regarding your CV. Employers will more look at the fact that you HAD a job in these months, and not just gaps where you "did nothing".

Travelling is also a good cause, it shows personal responsibility along with organisation and planning. All good characteristics for a potential employee so please dont worry about that part!

The money issue is another matter. If you can save enough in time, or have the savings already then I would say go for it. You WILL regret it in the future, as you will have a great time once there.

I did New York for 4 days after uni, it cost a lot but it was amazing...and we left wanting more! 8)

On the other hand, if you are feeling pressured into it by your friend (as maybe your friendship will suffer if you dont go?) then you shouldn't do it just for her. You should want the trip too.

Do you want to go? Or are you being brought along purely as your friend doesn't want to do it alone?

All the best

Wm xx
User avatar
weatherman78
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:45 pm
Location: Leeds, UK
Gender: Male

Postby morris mouse » Fri May 23, 2008 11:45 pm

weatherman78 wrote:On the other hand, if you are feeling pressured into it by your friend (as maybe your friendship will suffer if you dont go?) then you shouldn't do it just for her. You should want the trip too.

Do you want to go? Or are you being brought along purely as your friend doesn't want to do it alone?


Hello,"DoodlePlex"

I really get the feeling,from your post,that you are being pressured into it by your friend (as maybe your friendship will suffer if you dont go?) & I
agree with"weatherman78" re this.

If this is the case,please don't go as something that would give you a lot of joy,could well turn out to be the very opposite :(
ImageImage
User avatar
morris mouse
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 833
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:35 am
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male

Postby lidopig » Sat May 24, 2008 10:35 am

I agree with morris mouse.Why not save up and go when YOU want to go,and go for a decent length of time.4 days seems hardly worth it,and with all that worry hanging over you,you're not going to enjoy it to the full.Just tell her straight!
User avatar
lidopig
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 289
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:48 am
Location: Dorset
Gender: Male


Return to Friends

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron