Jealous and I don't know why!

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Jealous and I don't know why!

Postby timetomakechanges » Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:48 pm

I have had some terrible friendships in the past, because Im the type of person who mkes really strong friendships with a few people rather than a load of people I sort of know, and I prefer it this way. However, in the past it has left me really hurt, including betrayals, friends back stabbing, lying etc. Well recently I went to college away and kept a few friends from home but made a few really fantastic friends. One of them is the most amazing person you could ever meet. She is honestly the nicest girl.
The problem is, I never thought I was a jealous person, but now, I am so jealous and I cant figure it out! She's the sort of girl who is really pretty, popular, smart and good at everything, but that's not what Im jeaous of. Basically we have become really close and we call each other all the time when we arent together and she is really appreciative of my friendship too. She broke up with her boyfriend not long ago, and since has formed a friendship with another girl, and she has confessed wondering if it is more than a friendship because they both want to be around each other all the time. And she says the other girl feels the same as her. She has never really neglected our friendship as a result but I cant help but resent this other girl and be jealous of their bond! I cant understand how they could think of each other as mre either because the other girl has a boyfriend and she had one not long ago. Im not jealous because I fancy my friend or anything its just strange

I just dont want to feel jealous anymore because I think it could just result in me losing her altogether!
Last edited by timetomakechanges on Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:03 am

I just think you are jealous because you are scared of loosing your best friend. Its true, I'm sure that everyone on this forum has been jealous of a friends friend at one point. Try and suggest things to do for the 3 of you, see if you can make this new girl a good friend of yours as well, instead of getting jealous and pushing them both away.

You said your friend had never neglected your friendship, what makes you think she will now? As i said before, try and include the new friend into your plans, you might find out that she is a really nice person.
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Postby Yellowcoaching » Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:05 am

Is it possible that the jealousy stems from her having a friend she considers "special" and it wasn't you? You don't necessarily want her to think that way about you but it still hurts a little?
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Postby timetomakechanges » Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:28 am

I think that maybe I am jealous that she considers her ‘special’ it’s just a bit like I don’t really understand why she feels differently about her to me. I don’t think anything’s going to come of the two of them because my friend has told me that however she feels, she doesn’t actually imagine them together because it would just be too strange. It just kind of makes me think why do you like her more, like what does she do differently that I don’t if you aren’t even going to go out with her? Her other friend also hates it when she hangs out with me and our other friends. Like before we all came home for the summer, it was the last week, and my friend was spending more than half of her time with me and my other friends rather than the other girl, and the other girl had a drunken go at her, despite the fact that she knew my friend would be going to spend the following 3 weeks with her at her house!! It’s not the fact that she has other friends, we both do and I think it’s good for us, it’s just this one girl! There have been situations where it has been the three of us, and we do get along, but it’s kind of forced. Also, normally she comes round to visit us in our house, and then when she leaves, she has a go at my friend for not spending it alone with her, despite the fact they spend time together alone fairly frequently.
It's not that I think she will neglect our friendship, its more that she will prefer her friendship with the other girl.
Maybe I should just accept that they have a deep bond and get over it but it’s so frustrating!
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Postby Yellowcoaching » Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:45 am

Don't let this turn into a competition for her time or attention, just be a good friend and enjoy your time together. It's good that you have other friendships as you have recognised. The other girl may become too intense from what you've said and it's not worth risking the friendship over your jealousy.
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:21 pm

If your friend really likes this other girl, and is going through a phase of liking her etc, and all of your other friends dont like her...I'd suggest just being supportive, listening and if it is something along the lines of a crush, be there for her IF it all goes wrong.
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Postby x-abbie-x » Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:22 pm

i think that you are probably a bit confused as to why your close friend has feelings for this other girl and not for you. obviously, as you said, you dont fancy her, but its just the fact that she likes this other girl in a different way that you have been a bit taken aback by. i think that because you care so much about having her as a friend, you have become jealous of the friendship as they have something different to you.

What you need to remember is they might have something different to you and your friend, but they dont necessarily have something better than you and your friend. Its an easy thing to do, but try not to attempt to split them apart because its hard, but your friend is always going to have friendships with other people. As someone said before, try maybe getting to know this other girl, or maybe widening your own circle of friends.
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