please help!

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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please help!

Postby x-abbie-x » Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:11 pm

i have a friend called carrie who i have been close to for about 2 years. she is nice on her own but can be really unfair. she always puts boys before me and has really upset me on a number of occasions and doesnt act herself around them. if she doesnt invite me somewhere, she will rub it in my face that i wasnt there and on the whole she treats me and some of my other friends in the group like dirt. I'm part of a group of 5 and she is sort of the "leader" of the group because she organises absolutely everything, and i know that if i dont keep her as a friend or have a big argument with her i am going to be drawn away from my other friends and i dont know wether it is worth it. i have spoken to her about it and she changes for about a week then goes back to her old self. i have sort of realised that people like her just dont change but to be honest, ive had enough of it, but i dont know wether i should fade away from my other best friends because of her. my other friend, harriet, has a massive fight with her and hasnt been very close to any of us ever since. so should i put my foot down, leave her, and be drawn away from my other friends, or should i grit my teeth and put up with it???
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Postby Beckie » Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:57 pm

My best mate at school was just like that.. she was a complete witch to everyone yet everyone still loved and obeyed her ! I gritted my teeth and got on with it- exept at the times when i really needed to be heard!
now, she's my best friend in the world and we look back and laugh at what a bully she was!

If i were you i wouldn't risk losing all your other friends by charging in all guns blazing and causing a row. Have one more quiet word with her and explain that its different this time; you mean business. Make sure she knows you value her friendship but that you won't be controlled. If she really can't change i'd think about spending more time with other friends (what about Harriet?), because you're clearly not someone who can just allow yourself to be manipulated. If your friends are true friends, they'll be your mates whether miss queen bee is or not !

<3
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thanks

Postby x-abbie-x » Fri Jul 25, 2008 5:17 pm

thank you for the advice.. your right i should just put up with it. the thing is though, i have just said to her properly that it has gone far enough.. and showed her that i mean business.. and she said sorry.. but i know its going to be the same. i dont think that my friends would leave me, its that i would never see them and slowly fade away. x
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Postby Beckie » Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:36 pm

If she's just being bossy theres no harm in just laughing it off and not making a fuss.. just as long as you're not doing anything you don't want to do because its what she wants!

xx
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