Friend Dilema Follow up

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Friend Dilema Follow up

Postby TriadGirl » Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:49 pm

I posted a problem here a few weeks ago and had some good replies, however I've been left totally shocked by my friends recent developments. Her new boyfriend of just over three weeks has now moved in with her!!!!!! Do people do this so quickly now or am i just slow on the uptake. We finally had a night out on Friday , well i say a night out, she spent most of the time texting lol. Then at around 10pm (N.B got out at 8pm) he turned up. I couldn't believe it. Anyway i made my excuses and left. Anyway on Saturday she rang me and had the cheek to ask me why i'd gone home so early and that it spoilt her night! Is she really just blinded by love or just damn right inconsiderate, i have no idea. ](*,)
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Re: Friend Dilema Follow up

Postby misskrystal » Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:56 am

TriadGirl wrote:Is she really just blinded by love or just damn right inconsiderate, i have no idea. ](*,)


Both. At the start of a relationship, many of us tend to be a little shortsighted when it comes to our behaviour. We often spend hours texting our new partner, or boring our friends with mundane facts about them.

I'd give your friend a few weeks to obsess about her new man and, if she doesn't improve, then I'd say something. I know how frustrating people can be when they put their new relationships before friendships and I also know how hard it can be to juggle the two when you meet someone new. Be understanding for now, but be firm when you finally lose your patience.

And yes, some people do move that quickly, although, to me, after three weeks, that person would still be a stranger and I can't imagine moving a stranger into my home #-o
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Re: Friend Dilema Follow up

Postby retrochav » Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:37 am

This first flush of love that you describe makes the couple concerned blind to all else! Your friend is clearly infatuated with this lad and is unable to see anything else. This will pass.

Some people move fast, others at a snails pace - there is no right or wrong although it may be a decision they later regret as reality sets in!

My advice is to try to get on with the new boyfriend, otherwise you risk loosing your mate. If you really cant do this, examine exactly why, being totally honest about your feelings. Dont dress jealousy up for concern ove your mate for example.

Then i would keep the friendship alive by phone, email and letter and try to develop new friendships elsewhere.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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