friend nightmare

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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friend nightmare

Postby mali84 » Thu Aug 14, 2008 2:57 pm

I'm having a bit of a dliema.

I'm very good friends with my husbands ex. She was actually bridesmaid at our wedding. But my problem is this, a friend of hers wasn't so keen on our friendship and has continued to throw obstacles in my path.

(I guess she feels that i'm taking her away from her in a way and is not happy that she is back in her ex's life all be it as my friend. )

Since our wedding 2 months ago my friend has been quite distant from me. we would normally see each other once a week and meet up but just lately i rarely get any contact from her and every time we arrange to do something she blows me out to go out with this other girl.

The other girl always puts my friend down and it's me that has to pick up the pieces when she's hurt and upset about it all and she regularly brings up her past with my husband which makes things 10 times harder for both of us.
I seem to be the one she runs to when things are going wrong and she never seems to run do this other girl with the problems i just feel like the back up plan

Well last night was kinda the last straw for me. A friend of mine has just died of cancer and i was really down about it. She knew about this and said that she'd made other plans but i could join them if i wanted to. I said not to worry and would see her on saturday as planned. (as i wasn't really in the right frame of mind to be dealing with this other girl)
Well today she texts me saying that this other girl wants to come on saturday. I've said i'd rather she didn't as I haven't spent time with her lately and would like to just catch up but she said she'd feel akward uninviting her now.

I'm really stuck as to what to say to her. I don't want to offend her but it was only suppose to be us catching up after a few weeks of not seeing each other and now she's invited this girl that can't stand me and has no problem in making me feel unwelcome whenever i see her.

What would you do?
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Aug 14, 2008 3:55 pm

Be straight with her and tell her what you have said here
She will either realise she could lose a good friend and will sort it out or she will get angry (becasue she knows she is wrong) and you will probably never hear from her again
Either way you will know where you stand and if she is a true friend she will want to sort it out otherwise the way she is currently treating you I think you're better off without her
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:33 am

Personally I dont think I would go out on Saturday. Drop her in it like she drops you in it. Just tell her that you are upset at the death of your friend and that you aren't in the right frame of mind to make an effort with other people.
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Postby mali84 » Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:10 am

Hey Guys,

we met up on friday and I told her straight how i've been feeling lately. I coludn't go on anymore feeling like this. She was shocked but took it on board.
i then went out with the other girl too on saturday and gave her one last chance. she was civil and i hope ok with me so we will see what happens with the future. but that night the friend had a falling out with her fella as she always does and just cried the night away - not the best thing to do while out in the beer garden! but hey ho. so fun night had by all.

Just hope things get better from now on
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