Nasty parting comments by friend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Nasty parting comments by friend

Postby happiness will come » Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:22 pm

For a while i have been thinking of parting company with a friend who just does not make me feel good, he has a bad attitude towards life, which includes his family, work, and ambition. He would always go for money over any type of virtue. I am going to uni soon and realised it would be my time to get away from all the friends who have let me down with all their selfish behaviour. Basically, he is the type of person who is seemingly friendly towards those he meets but if you get closer you realise how bad his attitude is. He left all the jobs he had without giving any notice, and if he wants a job in future he gets his aunty to give a fake reference, but whenever he gets a job he acts so nice to his co-workers etc, thats one part of him. Then he acts so bad towards his mum, i over heard his saying a bad name in spanish on the phone, and i asked who he was speaking to and he told me he was speaking to his mum because she was threatening to go to a party without him because he was late etc. I was amazed, how can this type of person ever respect his friends if he doesnt respect his family first?!

Then, whenever he speaks to people he acts so nice and composed then when they go away he ridicules them, with me i am the type of person to want to get to know someone over a long period of time instead of instantly getting to know someone etc.

Today we had an argument...i left him behind when i was supposed to give him a lift (he has been using me for lifts), he rang me up and told me i was rubbish, i shouted down the phone that i was sick of his drama and couldn't take it anymore so...i put down the phone, put it on silent then ignored his calls. He then proceeded to text message me saying,"Pick up the phone, and stop being an idiot be a man and communicate you idiot.

(Also, his texts were in text speak)

So i texted back saying, "How mature of you, i can't deal with your drama, everyone says you have the wrong attitude to life and this shows it."

He texted back,"You're a loser, i have to keep chatting to you so you dont get in a mood, you a little girl mate, thats what girls are like but you wouldn't know that as you've never had a girlfriend, you're a loser no friends so go off yourself, if i see you i'll duff you up you rubbish person made hoe (whatever that is)."

(Its worth pointing out that he says he hates women etc)

I texted back, "If you werent so self centred in life you might get somewhere. Instead you have no ambition and have no empathy for those around you including your family and if you ever threaten me again i will call the police."

He texted back twice, "lala up the phone or say it to my face, be a man. Anyway who said that, you dont know anyone, be off with you."

Then, "Haha you a little toerag, you're going to go to the police. Haha, i cant believe you said that, yeah cause thats how a real man handle their problems, by going to the police. People avoid your calls because they dont like you.":^o

I texted back, "Yes, im a loser who is a million times more talented than you will ever be. Go have you money and your cheap thrills, at least i will have my virtue."

He texted back, "Hahah you really think your good at what you do, haha what did you get marked. I hung around with you because i feel sorry for you but now you can buzz off."

I had enough with ping pong texting so i didn't text back, he is a vile person and i am actually a bit glad this happened because no i can started fresh with people who appreciated me. It worth pointing out that i never insulted him with vile remarks and kept my cool, i tried not to stoop to his level. All my life i have had a talent in art etc, teachers have always been impressed but i am a humble guy and like to keep it that way, its only in this situation i pointed out that because he needed to know how narcissistic he really is.

Sorry for the long post, i just wanted you to understand.

Please tell me...do you think i handled this in the appropriate manner, what would you have done? And what can be done to avoid such people in future?

Thank you very much for any opinion/advice/help etc.

Edit by Pwif: no swearing please, even with * or !. PP is a forum with a lot of young members. I've changed some of your words. If you don't think they reflect the conversation you had with your 'friend', please change them, but swearwords or implied swearing will be be changed or deleted. There is no need to quote all the content of your 'friend's' texts.
happiness will come
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 6:40 pm
Location: England

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:33 am

it is always difficult to copletely avoid people like this as they are nice to your face and it can take a while to discover the real them
always go with your instincts and if someone deosn't add up just keep your distance but be polite
it sounds like he was just being nasty becasue he realised he had pushed you too far, some people react like that when they lose control of a situation
i think your well out of it and as your off to uni it gives you the perfect reason just to avoid him form now
don't bother texting back again in fact get his number barred from your phone so you don't get tempted into text ping pong again
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby happiness will come » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:17 pm

Thanks Bel, your words really mean something, i see many avoided answering although not sure why, i appreciate you giving your time to give advice. Thanks a lot
happiness will come
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 6:40 pm
Location: England

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:50 pm

Don't take avoiding answering as a bad thing. I don't always answer everyone
Sometimes you don't know what to say so you say nothing. It's better to give no advice than bad advice
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby rufio89 » Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:03 pm

Hi,

I read your problem and didn't reply until I saw that comment.

Like Bel Bel said, sometimes people just don't think they'll give good advice so they think it's best not to answer at all.

My advice for the situation: You're in the right! You did the right thing, and you're better off without this guy. You're off to Uni soon, so you're bound to find tons of like-minded people to you, so be glad you're rid of this loser, and focus on your new life!
rufio89
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2565
Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:05 pm
Location: Nottingham
Gender: Female

Postby happiness will come » Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:57 pm

Yes, sorry, i guess i was too eager to realise that people would rather give good advice than bad advice. As for my situation, i agree, i can be rid of the loser. However, i do not live too far from him and when i come home from uni i may see him, after hearing his comments i do feel rather threatened physically and it makes me angry because i have lived in my area all my life, i should not feel this way and i should not have to be a prisoner in my own home.
happiness will come
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 6:40 pm
Location: England

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:44 am

Absolutely do not live in fear
It is probably all bravado (judging by the type of person he is) but if you find him commenting just walk by completely ignore him and he will get bored eventually and if he threatens you get the police involved immediately and I think he will back off
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby rufio89 » Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:54 pm

I wouldn't worry about him.

To be honest, I'd expect that when you come home from Uni, this will be forgotten by both of you, as you will both have made new friends etc.
If not - I agree will Bel Bel, he's all talk.

I doubt very much that he would start anything physical, I mean how is that going to look for him, beating up an innocent person, so at worst, you might get more threats.

If I'm wrong, and things do start to get out of control, call the police. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and I dont see how it makes you any less of a 'man', not wanting to get into a petty fight. You shouldn't have to live in fear, you're right.

I hope this all gets resolved for you, and best of luck with university. I'm sure you'll make lots of new friends.
rufio89
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2565
Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:05 pm
Location: Nottingham
Gender: Female

Postby morris mouse » Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:22 pm

happiness will come wrote: I had enough with ping pong texting


I agree that this is a bad "friend" to have,but there's more to this,
than just that!!!

"happiness will come" I have to say,that,you made the situation far
worse
:(

You admit,in your post,that you did ping pong texting........
ImageImage
User avatar
morris mouse
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 833
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:35 am
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male

Postby happiness will come » Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:22 pm

Enlighten me please Morris..i don't quite understand what you mean.
happiness will come
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 6:40 pm
Location: England

Postby HappyGoLucky » Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:48 am

I think Morris Mouse meant that you should've ignored him immediately instead of continue replying his texts at that moment. Correct me if I'm wrong...

Personally, I don't think it's exactly worth wasting your time on this person. Just ignore him.

RuthForrest wrote:I doubt very much that he would start anything physical, I mean how is that going to look for him, beating up an innocent person, so at worst, you might get more threats.

If I'm wrong, and things do start to get out of control, call the police. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and I dont see how it makes you any less of a 'man', not wanting to get into a petty fight. You shouldn't have to live in fear, you're right.


Agree with the above too.
Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get!
HappyGoLucky
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 816
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:53 pm
Location: On planet Earth.
Gender: Female

Postby happiness will come » Mon Sep 01, 2008 11:00 pm

Yeah, i understand. I guess i should've just left it alone..instead i made it worse by replying each time. I guess it's too tempting to answer back when comments are made, i will know better if this situation arises again.
happiness will come
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 6:40 pm
Location: England

Postby HappyGoLucky » Tue Sep 02, 2008 11:35 am

Yea, lol. Has happened to me before and I end up getting annoyed at myself all because I couldn't resist replying to all the silly stuff said! Ah well, no use regretting.
Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get!
HappyGoLucky
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 816
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:53 pm
Location: On planet Earth.
Gender: Female


Return to Friends

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests