Nightmare

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Nightmare

Postby I_AM_LEGEND » Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:50 pm

ok i have been friends with my mate for almost 7 years we met when he moved from london in year 11 at school,
we have argued as all mates do we've never had girl issues between us and he always gives me selfless strong advice on things,

anyway last may his parents bought a flat and offered it to us, we took it and all was well,

as sone of you may know i've been with my gf for about 5 months ish?

me and my mate no fall out regularly bacuase my gf is there alot,

my buddy works till 6 i finish at 4 and my gf comes over to mine when i finish work but now feels she has to leave when he turns up cos he gets a strop on!!!!

about a month ago he was away for a week, and my gf stayed with me, it was AWESOME i love having her around and we both give each other space even in the same house, but then he came back and when nuts that she had been there all week !!!! HE WASNT EVEN THERE!!!!!


i dont know if i'm blowing this up, or wether the fact im crazy about this girl is blinding me from being insesative towards my friend,

if somene can advise me what i need to do (or not do) please :)
You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and that they shoot rainbows out of their ass!
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Sep 12, 2008 9:51 am

Your friend moved into a house with his friend (you). You have gotten a girlfriend who is there all the time, he has lost you to her. He can't be himself around the house. How about you have your girlfriend over a little less and dedicate some boy time to your friend, to see how it goes for a while. He is the 3rd wheel so I'm sure he feels abandoned/put out/ignored etc. Just make sure you two do just spend some decent time together.
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Postby Bel Bel » Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:13 am

I agree with dipsy but also would add it might also be about money
Did you offer any extra for the bills while your g/f stayed. I assumed she showered and stuff so thats electricity/gas. Does she eat and cook food at yours.
I think it is more likely to be about the fact he feels like the third wheel though. Perhaps you need to agree some rules like she only comes over 3 days and only stays one night at weekend.
Talk to him and tell him you relaise you ar upsetting him and want to sort it out.
Can you go to your g/f sometimes so your not always rubbinh his face in it.
If you can't get it sorted perhaps you can your g/f could consider living together
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Postby xbeanbabyx » Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:28 pm

I agree with every point that Bel Bel and Dipsy have made :). Your friend might also prefer warning before she comes round, rather than getting home to find her there or finding out she'd been there while he's been gone for the week.
But definitely the '3rd wheel thing' is i bet what is getting him stressed out most. So just spend some more quality time with him as well as a friend by himself and he won't feel so left out hopefully :) x
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Postby Millenia » Sat Sep 13, 2008 10:31 am

You really need to think about your flat mate here, he has moved in with his friend (you) and now he has two of you!

If i am at my boyfriends house i always make sure i clean up after myself and f i am staying over i will always buy milk and bread, tea or buscuits to show that im not there to eat all their food and things, especially since im not the one paying for the house.

Get a lads night together with just the two of you get a pizza ordered and just have a fun night doing what guys do, i think he will appreciate that.

Remember it is also good to have space in your relationship, your friends still exsist when your in one!
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:57 am

Oh I can guarantee the 3rd wheel/put out thing, as when I go to my bf's house I always feel in the way. Not that anyone has implied or made me feel that way, I just do. There are 5 boys living together and I just feel in the way when I go over. I think its the exact same principle for him.
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