I'm being used .. should i bother with her?

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I'm being used .. should i bother with her?

Postby xbeanbabyx » Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:22 pm

Another girl started to hang around with the group of girls I used to go around with, about this time last year, along with some others. Except she decided she didn't like me and eventually the others decided that too. It was mainly her that bullied me, but it was sometimes a group thing, so I left that group.
I have lots of other friends now and only really speak to 2 of those people from that old group. A few others talk to me too, but only when the others aren't around and they won't sit next to me or anything.
One of these girls i still talk to, i think i only do because we go to the same club and i take her home. She talks to me sometimes and we get along fine. So i invited her to my birthday, but found out the day before she came that i hadn't been invited to her 18th - where she has invited people she hardly talks to. She still ended up coming to mine and didn't even think about buying me a present, not that i expect presents, but she always has before.
Anyway, i don't see why i should be giving her lifts home from the club we go to if she doesn't even like me - i'm confused whether she does or not to be honest. We're not best friends or anything like that, but it's not like we don't talk either. She hasn't spoken to me since she knew that i knew about her party, because at her party i said "oh is Charlotte* having a fancy dress for her 18th too?" to a mutual friend.
But to me, it seems like she's using me for the lifts home - do you think i should tell her she can't come home with me anymore?
Thanks Xx
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Postby Beckie » Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:30 pm

no, not unless it puts you out to give her a lift. If you have to go out of your way for her then I wouldn't bother, but otherwise I wouldn't make a thing of it. Don't take it wrong, I think she's in the wrong completely! I just think you need to rise above it and show her that she might be petty- but you're not. She probably does like you, but she's no friend if she can't even stand up to her other friends and tell them she likes you! Just bear it in mind and don't do her any more favours. Think of her as an aquaintance and nothing more.

It could even be a misunderstanding? Maybe she just forgot to mention the party to you, or assumed you wouldn't go because of the others. even if she purposefully didn't invite you its possible she was just being a sheep and doing what her mates said- she herself may have wanted you there!

xx
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Postby Millenia » Sat Sep 13, 2008 10:37 am

Sorry but she can't pick when and where she decides to talk to you. If your old group of friends decided they didn't like you because of a new girl then there about as worse as a pack of wolves looking for a new alpha.

Don't be mean about it but i think it would be nice to know where you stand. As Beckie says she probably does like you but because her other friends do not it means she will be sort of distant towards you.

But you can't be the 'friend on the side' it's a bit unfair to be treated as an outcast one minute and then she talks to you, it's called a head mess.
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Postby xbeanbabyx » Mon Sep 15, 2008 1:37 pm

Thank you for replying, i agree with both of you so thanks a lot :-). Yeah i was wandering if it would just be because other friends of her didn't want me there - that's kind of a reason i was thinking of not taking her home too though. But taking her home doesn't really bother me, i drop another friend off near her house too so i am going that way anyway. I just thought it might look like i'm a walk over letting her use me, if you see what i mean?

A mutual friend was really surprised she didn't invite me and said it was unfair because we had been friends for years. But i'm going to follow your advice and to treat her as an aqaintance rather than a friend and see where things go. Thank you :-) xX
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