I don't know who to betray.

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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I don't know who to betray.

Postby cjcm » Sun Oct 05, 2008 8:23 pm

Me and my cousin (I will call her Jenna) are bridesmaids for our other cousin (I will call her Lucy) in a few months time and we are all really really good friends.

However, about 12 months ago I caught Lucy's fiance having sex with Jenna. i.e, the other bridesmaid and her cousin.

What do I do?

How can I let Lucy marry a man who not only cheated on her, but cheated on her with her cousin.

It gets more complicated because Jenna is married and has a son....so if I tell the truth, her marriage and family will be torn apart.

Lucy's fiance knows I know what happened because I told him - he got really upset and promised it was a one-off.....but he is still really flirty with Jenna in front of me and I can't believe the cheek of him. When I see him being all lovey-dovey with Lucy I just want to hit him.

I think he knows that I wont say anything because I'm closer to Jenna than I am to his fiancee....and he knows that I am scared to say anything because of Jenna's husband/child.

Also, if I do say something it will tear the entire family apart - it will kill Lucy that Jenna could do that to her. And our family will be forced to take sides. I don't know what to do.

Do I just hide the truth and betray Lucy by allowing her to marry a cheater, or do I betray Jenna and do the right thing?
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:42 am

You tell him to confess or you will?
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:54 am

I think dipsy has a good idea
Why should you be the one to take the flak, let him.
Jenna may be married but it wouldn't be you ruining the marriage it would be her because she was the one who did wrong. And her husband may forgive her.
How do you think you will feel when you hear the line "does anyone know of good reason why these two should not marry?"
How would you feel if you were the bride and no one told you?
As you say he blatantly still flirts with her suggesting it may still be going on, this does not look like the actions of a sorry man.
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:11 am

What happens if the bride finds out in 10 years time and finds out you knew? Imagine if you were in her shoes. As for Jennas husband the same for him, by not telling anyone about it you may be pushing yourself out and giving them reason to put the blame on you. As I said above you should tell him he needs to tell her!
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Postby snail » Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:45 am

I agree. Please make sure Lucy finds out before she marries him. After that it's up to all of them to sort it out.

I'm not sure you'll make him tell her by giving him an ultimatum, though. I think he'll just call your bluff, hoping you won't go through with it. So I think it will probably be you that has to do it. You might consider writing a letter or something like that, and just handing it to her (don't send it in the post in case her fiance opens it first and gets rid of it).
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Postby miaow » Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:28 pm

What an awful situation to be in. Why not ask 'Lucy' for advice on a 'similar situation' and in a round about way ask what she would do in your situation. If she says that you should tell the person in question - say it is someone at work who is engaged, then I think I would tell her there and then.

Good luck with whatever you decide, and to add to the fiance still being flirty he needs a good shake - how dare he!!!
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:12 am

Thats a good idea from Miaow. If Lucy says spill the beans tell her, if not then it's up to you.
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