in a relationship but i want someone else

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in a relationship but i want someone else

Postby loulou87 » Tue Oct 07, 2008 12:07 am

i haven been with my boyfriend for over two years but recently we've been drifting apart. i love him so much but i can't help feeling the relationship as it is will not last.
on top of this my feelings for my best friend have been developing and we have both admitted to sharing this attraction towards one another. we have kissed a couple of times but nothing more.
the problem is, i know that he wants more to happen, and as ashamed as i am to admit this, i do too.
but i do not feel guilty about the kiss or about our interactions. we are constantly texting each other. usually it's general chit chat really but sometimes more.
i really don't know what to do. im completely confused.
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:11 am

You can't keep them both hanging around. What if your bf finds out, then you are out on your own.

It is unfair on both the bf and friend, they both have feelings as well. You need to decide who you want, if you can't decide then neither is my advice, and go with it.
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:51 am

why have things gone stale with the b/f? If you can't see it genuinely working out with him then it would be better to split with him than stay.
Don't leave becaseu of someone else becasue it doens't always turn out to be as good as you imagined
The I owuld be on your own for a bit before rushing in with this friend to be sure it's what you want and out of respect for your current b/f's feelings
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Postby morris mouse » Tue Oct 07, 2008 4:39 pm

loulou87 wrote: I do not feel guilty about the kiss or about our interactions.


"loulou87",to be honest,I'm at a loss over what you say in your post.

You say,that, do not feel guilty about the kiss or about the
interactions.[-X . Why not?? After all,you've been together for
over two years.

Surely,due to the length of time you're boyfriend has spent with you in the relationship, you really should be more considerate towards him
(& his feelings)

Also,I agree with "dipsydoodlenoodle",in that,you need to decide who you want, if you can't decide then neither
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Re: in a relationship but i want someone else

Postby whoopsie » Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:13 pm

loulou87 wrote:the problem is, i know that he wants more to happen, and as ashamed as i am to admit this, i do too.


I think that if you want something to happen, then perhaps it is best if you leave your current boyfriend. Kissing someone else is considered by many to be cheating so I think you have gone far enough already.
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Postby loulou87 » Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:49 am

thanks all. you have put it all in perspective for me. i want it to work out with my boyfriend because it's him i love and want. i think we are just going through a rough patch and it needs sorting rather than hiding away from it.

i think i need to have time away from my friend. if he's really my friend he'd understand.

i realise that i've been a complete witch and just considering my own feelings which is selfish which is completely out of character for me.

thank you all for your thoughts.
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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:59 am

the you need to get to the root of why things have gone stale and sort it out
I think keeping away from the friend is a good idea
Do you and your b/f still have date nights where you go out and date like in the begining. Cinema, bowling, meal etc
Book a romantice trip away for a night or two and buy some new sexy underwear
Have a bath together and put candles all round the room
Cook him a surprise meal
Basically get the romance back
It's easy to stop trying and take each other for granted but you have to keep putting effort in just like you would do with a new person.
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Postby pink stripes » Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:54 pm

Sorry but what you have done is a form of cheating, whatever way you dress it up. Kissing some one else is horrible, and i think for you and your boyfriend to come through this rough patch you need to be honest with him. how can you look him in the eye, tell him you love him whilst knowing what you have, thinking its ok? You have been with him 2 years and said in your first post that you don't even feel guilty for kissing another guy :o
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Postby loulou87 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:02 pm

pink stripes wrote:Sorry but what you have done is a form of cheating, whatever way you dress it up. Kissing some one else is horrible, and i think for you and your boyfriend to come through this rough patch you need to be honest with him. how can you look him in the eye, tell him you love him whilst knowing what you have, thinking its ok? You have been with him 2 years and said in your first post that you don't even feel guilty for kissing another guy :o


i do feel guilty i have seen what i have done to be completely terrible. i have been honest with him now and we are now working through it and i think we'll be ok, we spending more time together and i think it will in time it will bring us closer together because we have realised how easily love can be lost with out a little care and attention. i am no longer in contact with this 'friend' because the situation he put me in does not count as friendship.
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Postby LN123987 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:54 pm

Its good that you've realised what you did was wrong - and cutting this 'friend' out of your life is even better
Reading what you put it seems you and your bf are very happy and that maybe you were just looking for the attention and care that your bf had not been providing?

Glad you and him have decided to move past it, spending more time together will hopefully bring you forward in the relationship.

hope this helped
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