Think I'm losing a friend

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Think I'm losing a friend

Postby introuble1987 » Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:39 pm

Hi, this is my first post, apologies if it becomes long and rambly.

I've been really good friends with someone for about 2 years. For the first year and a half we barely spoke, more aquaintance i guess. But alot changed and we became really close. However, I wasn't close enough to tell them that I'd been having some problems. Things got sorted and all was fine.
Except for the last 2 weeks I haven't been able to see this person (i shall call them A) without being insanely angry :cry: . My old problems have returned, and A is aware things aren't fine and well with me right now. After a few days of not speaking (A insulted me and refused to see why I was upset) I decided to apologise (for being unapproachable) and things went back to normal.

However, on Friday night things took a foul turn. We went out with others for drinks, with a person A doesn't get along with. I decided that I didn't want to stay out and despite A's pleads I left the group. But once I got home I felt bad that I'd left the friend who doesn't get on very well with the rest of the group(B) (they exclude this person quite alot) so I decided to go back out and catch up with B (they are also a very very good friend of mine). A and another friend did their usual trick of seeing an opportunity to 'isolate' themselves from the rest of us. This has been an issue before, particulary in a small group, when they don't make conversation with B and lag behind us etc. To cut a longer story short I accused A of using me as way of making themselves guilt-free by not having to include B. This did not go down very well and caused a biggish issue between us. Think icey silence and glares.

I tried talking to A last night (we live together) and felt still this random anger. Today things are really no better and I don't know what to do next. It doesn't feel like saying sorry is enough anymore, and now I'm worried that I'm losing one of my good friends. I have no idea what to do. I desperately miss them :( i feel like the biggest fool. B's done nothing wrong and yet i can't stop being angry at them.

Thank you for reading. Any advice would b much apprecaited
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:45 pm

firstly you can't make people like b. Yes they are horrible for discluding her but you knew they didn't like her much when you left them with her.

However A us being childish by acting like a 5 year old and discluding b in the first place

I don't think you owe A an apology at all, you have told the truth and she didn't like. Also A was insulting you the other day and you apolgised to her

Just act like normal from now. If she doesn't want to be your friend over this I think she is very immature and after insulting your recently perhaps she isn't a good friend after all
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Postby lilessexgal » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:00 pm

I dont think you ned to apologise either. It sounds to me that A knows that if an argument arupts between you, you will be the one to apologise so A gets her own way.

I agree with Bel Bel. Just act normal, be yourself and if A is a good friend she will forget about everything and start talking to you again.
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