i have a crush on my friend

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i have a crush on my friend

Postby sharoto » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:01 pm

I have been at my new 6 form for just over half a term and found i have a crush on one of my male friends. I am a 16 yr old girl who last month had my first b/f but dumped him after just under a month. But I found that i have a crush on a boy in my form he's a little younger than me but is very mature unlike my ex who was like a child. My friend liked him befor me and he asked her out over half term which upset me a bit but i didnt show it as i was happy for her. but found out that she had told him they just wanted to be friends. As he is really shy i dont know if he like's me. I am nothing like my friends she tall, thin really pretty, artistic and gracful. Im short (or a little shorter than her), not very thin, sorta plain looking and not very good in a certain thing sota ok in many things. I am really stuck weather to do anything or just ignor my feelings as my ex wasnt a very gd b/f, i have very low self esteem and dont know how i would cope if i said something and he didnt like me plz help!!!!!
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Postby reckoner » Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:37 am

Hi sharoto,

If you want to nab this guy (or any guy), the first thing you've got to do is forget about your perception of yourself at the moment, because it's bad. When you feel bad about yourself, either in the way you look or the way you feel, that's what you give off to people. Without meaning to, you'll express how you're feeling. You're confident enough to have standards and to know when a guy isn't good enough for you, so try to build on that. I'm sure that, when you're in a good mood, you're great. Good enough to bag a guy already, even if he wasn't good enough.

Before you find out if this guy likes you, give him a reason to like you. Get to know him, try to make friends. When you've got to know him a bit, you'll have a better sense of how things are, and whether you'd be good together. And if he likes you. And if you want an inside tip, why not have a quick chat with the friend who turned him down and see what you can find out?

So what if your friend is tall, thin and pretty? Good for her. I'm sure you have qualities that make more than first impressions. Don't be scared of rejection. If you get rejected, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. One day, he'll wonder what he missed out on.

Not every guy is going to be like your ex. Not unless that's what you expect. A new guy is a clean slate. Don't bring what went wrong in the past into the present. You left it before and, if it happens again, you'll leave it again. So no need to worry. You obviously have standards, so trust your judgement.

Lastly, getting to know someone is the fun part, so make the most of it!

Good luck, have fun, all the best :)
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Postby reckoner » Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:50 am

Hello,

Me again. Just re-read your post and notice that you are already friends (sorry) so it's really a question of building on that friendship. There's no need to ask him out straight off, it's nice to let things build of their own accord.

Good luck!
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:04 am

Ask him :-)
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