Fallen out with my friend....

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Fallen out with my friend....

Postby PurePurple » Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:02 pm

Oh dear, This could be long so I apologise in advance!

Basically. Me and my "ex best friend" have been ignoring each other for roughly 2 weeks now.

She messaged me on MSN when I got home from college, Asking if I got her text, To which I replied Yes. I was telling her about how Art was cancelled on that day, And how it was cancelled a couple of days later as the Art block was closed. Anyway she randomly came out with "I have to get councelling because stress makes me shaky and sick" So I carried on finishing my conversation (Wanting to talk to her AFTER i'd finished it) And I asked her to do me a favour and tell me what she'd done for her "What is art?" (Sketchbook work) To which she replied "Thanks for caring" and blocked me.

Anyway, A couple of days later "R" messaged me saying "Beth did you block "S"?" And I replied with "No, Why?" And I KNEW she'd only messaged me to have a go at me, And then "R" said "Because she thought that you did, You're proper shan as jelly, She told you something important and all you can ask is what she did for Art?
And I said to her That I was going to finish off my conversation, She said about the depression/councelling IN THE MIDDLE of me talking but I guess she doesn't want to talk now. So of course, "R" flew off the handle at me, And said "I'm not surprised she doesnt pizzaing want to talk to you, You're proper selfish sometimes Beth, bum off, I don't want to talk to you at the minute." And then she proceeded to block me.

Anywho, I told my parents what happened and we had a very very VERY LONG discussion (It went over about 2-3 days) About how she wants me to play her game, And she wants everything her own way, Which is totally true! And that I should ignore her because she'd get more frustrated with me ignoring her.

So, About 10-15 minutes later "R" messaged me on Myspace saying "Beth unblock me on MSN, I'm not apologising over Myspace" So I unblocked her and she said "Beth i'm sorry, I just get angry easily, I didn't mean it, I'm getting it sorted" So I explained that it hurt a lot, The language she used with me was awful and there was really no need for it. She said to me a couple of days later "Are you actually going to talk to "S" she's starting to think you don't care?" Which I just ignored.

Finally, My friend "B" at college has been bugging us both to try and get us talking again, Because we've been bestfriends for AGES, And it's not right. Then to make matters worse, My friend "C" noticed we weren't talking and she demanded to know why, So I was stupid, And told her, So she goes over to where "S" and "B" are sitting, And she was there for about 5 minutes before coming back, And she told me that I just happened to "Pop up in the conversation" (Ha, Ha) And that "S" isn't going to make the first move because "I'm the one being selfish?!?!?!" And then, She lied to "C" and "B"!! By saying she talked to me first on MSN saying "Beth I need to get councelling for depression...." The ONLY bit of that, Which is true is her messaging me first, But she asked me if i'd got her text!

I know I shouldn't let it get to me, But Me and "S" are both SO stubborn, We both refuse to talk first, And there is no way I am apologising for her being in the wrong.

PP
xxxx
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Nov 28, 2008 10:36 am

Well if you aren't prepared to apologise and she isn't prepared to apologise I think you can both kiss this friendship goodbye!
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Postby morris mouse » Fri Nov 28, 2008 4:31 pm

dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:Well if you aren't prepared to apologise and she isn't prepared to apologise I think you can both kiss this friendship goodbye!


I agree with "dipsydoodlenoodle". Also,"PurePurple" if you don't be careful,& refuse to say
sorry to other friends (when you need to) you may lose them as well :(
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby PurePurple » Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:28 pm

Mmm, I know when to say sorry, I just don't see why I should apologise for something I didn't do
And I know i'm being tight, But to be honest she's the one that still cares about it.
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby morris mouse » Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:48 pm

PurePurple wrote: And I know i'm being tight


To be honest,the most important thing is,do you still want to be stubborn about the whole
thing,or say sorry? Is it really worth losing your best friend over?
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby PurePurple » Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:59 pm

If i'm honest morris, Our friendship has long gone
Since we left school she's been closer to "R" and has only ever come to me for advice with personal issues/relationships, Or what to do in Art.
Anything i've ever told her that wasn't personal has been passed straight on to "R"
At one time you'd never see me without "S" but now she's too busy with "R"
I'd definantly still talk to her but I don't think I could give our friendship a second chance, As it wouldn't be right, It wouldn't feel right,
I don't think we could get back what we had.
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby Pwif » Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:10 pm

I'm not sure what the problem is here. Are you saying that you don't think you can give your friendship with S a second chance? If that's the case, then move on and stay friends with those you're closest to and let S move on too.

As we go through life, we change, and sometimes we outgrow certain friendships. It sounds as if that's what's happened with you and S. Just enjoy the time you have with your other friends. What you're experiencing is perfectly natural.
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby PurePurple » Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:44 pm

Pwif wrote:If that's the case, then move on and stay friends with those you're closest to and let S move on too.


I've tried but she always tells someone else, And then they bring it back up by asking me "Still not talking to "S"?
When I try explaining to them the situation they start nagging us both to talk again.
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby Bel Bel » Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:02 pm

The problem is i can see s's point of view
She told you something realy important ot her and she is obviously really wirried and from her point of view you just balnked her, she had no idea you were going to come back to her on the conversation
She probably blocked you because she got upset at your lack of response - perfectly normal response
She sounds like she really wanted to tell you but didn't know how to and just blurted it out in conversation
From what happened you are never going to get back the way you were beofer anyway but is it owrth not talking at all, surely it will make things difficult for mutual friends
I think you should explain directly to s your side of things and say sorry for your part in it and hoepfully she will do the same and you can be casual friends in the future
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Re: Fallen out with my friend....

Postby buttercup13 » Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:05 am

when people have mental issues, it is really difficult to come out and tell some one, she obviously needed help and chose you.
this is a very important thing not to be taken lightly. no matter what you were talking about in the first place it it no where near as important as what she had to say. you can always go back to the art conversation after.

seriously, think about it;
art project vs severe depression?

depression can lead to a lot of serious situations and art probably wasn't the most important thing on her mind.

be the bigger person and apologise first. other wise you will find yourself with fewer and fewer friends.
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Postby morris mouse » Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:10 pm

buttercup13 wrote: Be the bigger person and apologise first. other wise you will find yourself with fewer and fewer friends.


Thanks "buttercup13". I really do agree with you!!!
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