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I have to tell someone

PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2003 12:27 am
by madbird
The thing is I've slept with my best mate's boyfriend. I know a lot of you will think it's shocking and I don't blame you. She thinks the sun shines out of him and is even engaged to him. I feel terrible about it but I've had such a bad time lately and haven't been in control of my own actions. I know it's no excuse. Do I tell her what he's really like before they get married or keep my gob shut, she always sees his side in things and I'll probably end up losing her friendship and being excluded from our circle of friends.

PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2003 1:43 pm
by Mr.L
Why did you do it anyway?! That was so stupid, but anyway this is whta you can do and what can happen. ( A ) You can NOT tell her and she will live a sham of a marriage and who will he next have an affair with? ( B ) you can tell her the truth and she probably will hate you for a while but you will do yourself a favour for telling her. Sorry to say but whatever happens its your fault, you should not have done it, why did you say yes? WHy didnt you stop it. This is everything your 'mate' will be asking so get ready for those questions if you pcik ( B )

PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2003 8:40 pm
by madbird
I did it because I was so out of my head i didn't know what i was doing. I take it you think it's ok for him to mess around.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2003 5:33 pm
by madbird
Also I'm not the only one has had an affair with, the whole thing is a sham, but she's been so tied up in him that she can't see what he's really like, he treats her like dirt anyway but since she's got with him she doesn't care about anyone else. I will get the blame for everything as the women always do. He's asked me several times since and I've told him where to go. They were on a 'break' at the time & i'd just split with my husband. I know it was wrong, you can't make me feel any worse than I do already. But if it was you who would you forgive?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2003 11:56 am
by mariamaria
i definitely would not forgive you because you were supposed to be my friend. That's if I was your friend. You are out of your mind! You should have never let it get that far! The minute he kissed you, you should have said no. Plain and simple. Also, you should have told your best friend straight away. Sure, she might not have believed you, but when she found him doing something to prove you right, she'd believe you and you two would be friends again. And why wouldn't she believe you? If she really is your friend, she'd believe you over some man, trust me. If she isn't your friend, then she won't believe you and won't come around to your point of view.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2003 11:56 am
by tammybligh
In my opinion, what you did was a bit stupid - but there are very few of us who don't make mistakes now and again. He is the one in the relationship, and he is the one with the commitment. I'm not saying that you're blameless in all of this, as I'm sure you know you're not.

I think you should tell your friend. Even if she doesn't believe you, it may put a doubt in her mind, and sometimes that's all it takes. Although, by doing this, you run the risk of her not speaking to you - but doing the right thing isn't the same as doing the easiest thing.

I hope you manage to decide what to do. Try imagining how you would feel if the roles were reversed. What would you want your friend to do??

Good Luck :)

PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2003 5:24 pm
by madbird
If I was my friend, I think I'd rather know the truth, but then again I've been through a divorce & see things a lot differently than she does. I know I shouldn't have done it, but he knew exactly what he was doing & got me at a really vulnerable time, I know this just sounds like excuses, when it comes down to it there isn't any.

I don't think I can bring myself to tell her though, what I mean is i know she would forgive him, but I don't think she ever would me. If it was me I would be hurt but I would forgive her in the end, I know everyone makes mistakes. :(