I hate feeling this way about my friend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby JGRD146 » Mon Dec 08, 2008 12:50 am

When i was in comprehensive this girl (im a guy) always talked to me and through time we left and went to college. However she wears embarrasing clothing, doesnt care about her image and its really beginning to play on my nerves. I have this guy mate who is very attractive while on the other side is a girl who isnt and i feel i need to escape from her.

I went to amsterdam with business as it was the final year and she got soo drunk that she was talking about her previous relationships and began talking about inapropriate stuff she does to her girlfriend (shes bisexual). Everyone said they were off to bed and we all went into our separate rooms but me and my mate had a knock and the girls told us to quickly get in their room coz that was where everyone else was.

Now that shes in uni i see her much less and im beginning to love it (even as cruel as it sounds) she met new friends 3 of whom have stopped talking to her because of the remarks she said about them as well as making fun of a lady with one leg. Im meeting up with other uni friends and have even stopped going into primark because she works there part time. I would meet up with her but shes changed soo much that its offputting and upsetting to myself and others.
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Re: I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby snail » Mon Dec 08, 2008 11:11 am

If you feel you have outgrown this friendship and prefer to move on then I think that's perfectly OK. At your age, everyone is changing a lot anyway, and it may be that you and her are no longer compatible. If you are actively avoiding her, then that doesn't sound good.

The only thing I would say to bear in mind is, that if you are put off by her image, the clothes she wears and the fact that she isn't attractive, then that is a problem you have with her, rather than a problem she has. I also know someone who refuses to take any care whatsoever with his image and clothes, or even washing sometimes, and although I admit I'm embarrassed, I stick with the friendship because I like him as a person and he is worth it. If he wasn't, then of course I wouldn't.
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Re: I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Dec 08, 2008 12:45 pm

i agree with what snail says
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Re: I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby morris mouse » Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:25 pm

If you are actively avoiding her, then that doesn't sound good.


I agree. Just because she's different,what's wrong with that?

If you are put off by her image, the clothes she wears and the fact that she isn't attractive, then that is a problem you have with her, rather than a problem she has.


I agree. "JGRD146" You'll need to change the way you think,and treat,people or you'll start to lose friends. :(
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Re: I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby JGRD146 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:07 am

No its not looks its just shes embarrasing around my mates and through comp she was a leech. When i was in college she dropped all her courses and joined the ones i was on just because i was in there. For the first year people bullied her and it moved onto me because i was with her but i defended her but now she brings it upon herself. Its like, yeh i like her as a friend but its like she wants to be the only one and no one else. When i had a girlfriend she told her that i had a sexual disease and when my ex dumped me, she just acted as though nothing happened.
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Re: I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby Weasley » Wed Dec 10, 2008 9:58 am

Call me dumb...but I really don't get why you are friends??
As someone said in a previous post, sometimes you just outgrow certain friendships. Sounds to me like you have well and truely out grown this girl...
I have had friends in the past and if I see them now they irritate the heck out of me! Simply because we have both grown up and gone separate ways. Maybe this is what has happened to you? In which case I don't think it's really a problem - it happens to everyone - unless you really do still want to be friends with this girl. If you do still want to be friends then I think you would be able to put up with her annoying traits and if not you should be able to tell her!
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Re: I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby HappyGoLucky » Mon Dec 15, 2008 11:55 am

Do you want to be friends with her and do you even like her in person? In my opinion, it sounds like you've already quite drifted apart. :-? If you want to remain friends with her, I think you may just have to put up with all those that annoy you but if you don't, I guess that's that?
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Re: I hate feeling this way about my friend

Postby keepingsane » Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:52 pm

I agree with what has been said above. Some friends tend to just go their seperate ways naturally when they leave school. Remember your friends from primary? You won't have all gone to the same secondary school, and of those who didn't, I expect you didn't maintain much contact with them. I think you're fine to just carry on with your life, but if she questions why you've been avoiding her, you should own up and tell her why. You may want to stay friends with her if she changes her ways, but you must remember that you can't change people if they don't want to.
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