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bit of a rant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:16 pm
by rufio89
I'm going to change everyones names for privacy. and this is REALLY complicated.

Right, I have this friend Laura - When me and Laura were about 12, we went on guide camp (arent we cool), and made friends with these twins, Mark and Chris, who lived in London, so we've only seen them a handful of times over the years.

Anyway, last year, Mark moved to Nottingham for Uni, so we've got quite close again, and Laura and I go out with him quite a lot, and with Chris when he comes down.

Laura and I have this friend from school - Emily.

I had a night out planned with Mark one night a few months ago, and Emily was bored so I suggested she tag along. She wasnt exactly RUDE to him, but she didnt say much, or make any effort to make friends, but I thought fair enough, she doesnt have to be friends with people just because i like them. Anyway, a month or so after THAT, Chris was down for the weekend, and so Laura and I had plans to go out with Mark and Chris on the Saturday night. Emily decided to tag along again, which was fine, although Laura was a bit annoyed because she hadnt seen Chris for like 3 years and she really wanted a catch up, but we thought the more the merrier.

That night, Emily spent the WHOLE night ALL over them, she's been with her boyfriend for 4 years (although they have a RIDICULOUS relationship), and they live together, yet she was flirting with the twins all night, asking them about 3somes etc. After that, she's seemed to decide that she's like best friends with them, particularly Mark.

I dont really mind, although I do feel a bit like shes trying (unsuccessfully) to steal him away from me (I'm not being petty, she is a bit like that sometimes).

But she's also got this desperate need for male attention, and she spends all her time saying things that she doesnt mean, in order to impress guys.

Like today, I was talking to Mark on messenger, and so was she, and she was talking to him about how "all women are irrational, and that's why relationships fail". Not only does that statement annoy me because it's so ridiculously untrue, but SHE doesnt even believe it, she just wants mark to think "ah isnt she cool that she thinks like that".

I know I need to not get wound up, but she is ALWAYS like this. She's so desperate for attention, even though she has this boyfriend.

The only reason she'd say something like that ANYWAY is because she lets her bf walk allllll over her, and when any of us stand up to our bfs and say 'oi no thats not on', she thinks we're being really irrational.

ahhhh needed a rant. I have much more but I should stop. Although i will add that her boyfriend she's with NOW was MY first boyfriend, first love etc, and she got with him like a week after I broke up with him, even though she was supposed to be my best friend, and then lied abuot it for months. I dont really care about that now, because she's CERTAINLY welcome to him, but I just feel like she has this aversion to me having things that she doesnt.

ahhh rant over.

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:05 pm
by Bel Bel
how about just not asking her to come out next time

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:09 pm
by rufio89
It's not that I mind her being there, she is my friend, and when she's being normal it's fine, it's just when she gets this desperate need for attention and starts flirting excessivley. It's REALLY annoying. But I'd feel bad asking her to stay home, she's generally a nice girl.

I think I just needed to rant a bit lol. I wouldnt mind if it was a one off, it's just that this is what she often gets like, and this time it's one of my friends.

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:12 pm
by Bel Bel
how does mark and chris feel about her behaviour

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:15 pm
by rufio89
I've not spoken to Chris about it, I dont talk to him that often except when he's in Notts.

Mark thinks she's a bit weird. and scary, lol. He said that she's obviously not getting enough attention from her boyfriend, and that she seems like a nice girl, but she comes across a little sex-obsessed and desperate, but not in a good way.

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:09 pm
by Bel Bel
would it help if you told her thats how he see's her? maybe she would be embarrssed to act like that again

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:43 pm
by dogtan
Tell Emily to sort it out or you will no longer be her friend.

I think you should be asking your self if this girl is really worth all the emotinal baggage she comes with.

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:42 am
by rufio89
We're not really close friends anymore.

We used to be the sort of inseperable-best-of-friends, and then we fell out when she got with my ex, and we've made friends again since then, been close on and off.

I get on really really well with her when I keep her at a distance, as a casual friend. But if we spend too much time together, I start getting incredibly wound up with her.

I'm not going to explicitly say that I dont want her to come out with me and the twins and Laura, but I'm not going to mention it to her again. If she comes, she comes, but I'm not going to encourage it, and I'm going to spend less social time with her, or she may end up getting strangled lol.

Re: bit of a rant

PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:01 am
by sarahmienwok
I think that's a good idea rufio.

If Mark isn't falling for the act, then I wouldn't worry about it. It would be worse if either of them thought that it was all genuine. Let her deal with her own self-esteem issues and just get on with it.