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Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:18 pm
by grillyguy
Right,
Ive been talkin 2 this guy all weekend on MSN and we get on really well and i think i fancy him. He invited me to go to the cinema with him and another friend (john) who we met through. Last night, I got told that 'john' had said about the cinema and how I was going when Tom had invited me and it was originally going to be me, Tom, John, and Sarah but she had to drop out. I asked what John had said and they would not tell me. So I think that it was that John fancied Tom and that he was annoyed at me for going. One of my other friends who told that john had said stuff said that I only talked to her when I wanted to find stuff out. And, now I feel that I was getting over my problems and the thing or person that helped me get over my problems (see my other bulletins) is now a problem. And if John does fancy him then I'm going to let him have Tom, it's going to hurt but I have to and I feel like people think I'm not good enough for Tom and its also been said that its wrong to go out with friends of friends! (wth)

guy

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:23 pm
by rufio89
I dont really understand the problem. Can you simplify it?

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:35 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I think John and Tom were going to the cinema, Sarah another friend was going but dropped out...now John is upset at Tom for inviting "Grilyguy" to the cinema. Grillyguy likes Tom...

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:53 pm
by grillyguy
almost perfect but I dont know if john likes tom and all of my friends are sayin that if he does i shudnt do anything cos james is the only reason i no tom and me and tom have never met but he just seems so nice. And, I was called selfish by my friends for wanting to know what was said about me and they would not tell me so its something bad then

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:57 pm
by snail
Who the heck is James? Do you mean John?

Go to the cinema, let Tom decide for himself which of you he wants to be with. You can't "let John have Tom" - Tom makes his own choices, like all of us.

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:43 pm
by grillyguy
yeah i mean james and kk

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:20 pm
by peecee
grillyguy, hun; just stop a minute and get your head sorted out! Think! Read your posts back - slowly, as if you are outside them and don't know anything about grillyguy, and don't know anything about their problems.

If you can put your problems in an order that other people can understand, it will also help you understand how to help yourself.

Lots of love

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
pee

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:25 pm
by grillyguy
yeah do u mean the language i use or what?

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:56 pm
by snail
I think Peecee meant more that you sometimes give us information we don't need (for example, in your first post it's not relevant to mention Sarah, or to mention how one of your other friends said you only talked to her when you wanted something) but don't give us info that we DO need (who helped you "get over your problems"? Who are James and KK, and where do they come into this?). So it's hard to know what to advise you to do, because it's all a bit confused.

Remember that the people reading this don't know any of the people you're talking about, and may not have read any of your other posts, so you need to be clear.

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:48 pm
by grillyguy
kk

james is john its a weird nickname
forget the sarah bit
and my friends are talking to me now

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:01 pm
by snail
Oh well, that's something anyway. :P

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:21 pm
by grillyguy
yeah and james says hes not upset because i talked to him but i think hes upset and its kind of making me not want to flirt with tom when i really want to

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:29 pm
by snail
It's a difficult situation. Perhaps just be friendly, rather than flirty with Tom this time. After all, you haven't even met him have you, so you can't really know how much you like him.

The next time, perhaps Tom and you could go out alone, so that you don't feel cramped by James' presence? At the end of the day Tom will decide which of you he prefers, it's his decision and no-one else's. If he and James aren't officially dating, then there's nothing morally wrong with going for it.

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:50 pm
by grillyguy
yeah thanks i will do that
but ive been told by my friends that i should let james have him because "going out with friends of friends isnt right". But james said I could have him and that he didnt mind and he said he wasnt upset but I still think I have

Re: Everything was going so well...

PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:12 am
by sarahmienwok
grillyguy wrote: "going out with friends of friends isnt right".


Well that's rubbish for starters. If you like someone, and they like you, it shouldn't matter how you met them. However, if you're going to start something with someone, it should just be about the two of you. If anyone else is involved, for example James, then you should put your friends first. Especially since you've never even met this Tom, so it's not like it's love or anything. Go out and meet someone that isn't involved with anyone else and have fun!

(I think I'm understanding all of this right... it's still confusing for me!!)