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Can't believe some people!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 8:06 am
by sarahmienwok
Right, I’m mad, at friends, AGAIN! But it’s possible I’m being selfish so I need some perspective. I’ve emailed my friend about it, but I don’t know how honest she will be to me. I know you guys will tell me the truth, so here goes:

I’ve not had a dance in ages! I love my boyfriend to bits, but last time we went to a club, the music wasn’t really his kind of thing (or mine, but I’ll dance to anything if the mood takes me!), and he just sat down drinking most of the night. He was with people, but I felt bad and didn’t want to dance for long. So, I’m desperate. I mentioned organising a girly night to him, and he said I should, so I did. Well, I tried.

I messaged the girls I’m closest to (on Facebook), and also other girls who I don’t really know, but I know they’re good company, and they’re friends with other girls in the group. And one of them messaged back saying a few guys want to go out dancing, and could they come out? And then another one of the girls chimed in saying we could do a girly/singles night for anyone who wants to leave their partners at home, ie, me (and one other girl). There are a few girls with boyfriends, but they are all in their home countries, and not in Japan.

Now I don’t mind if we went out and they happened to pull lads. I used to go out with 3 girlfriends a lot, and they would all pull and I’d be left on my own. I don’t care about that, I can amuse myself. What gets on my nerves, is PLANNING on pulling, like they can’t have a good night if there aren’t any lads around to pull. It’s only one night, can’t they go dancing with the lads another night?? A day hasn’t even been set for it yet either!

I want to know if I’m being selfish. Because I have a boyfriend and I’m not interested in pulling lads, doesn’t mean I have to impose this on all the others.

OKAY. Girl number one has just written, and I quote:
“Well, I guess I should have just put it this way. I'm pretty sure a bunch of us will be going dancing at Rhyme on the 6th. Everyone is welcome to come but if you all want to do some girl pre-gaming: primping, drinking, giggling, pillow fights, dinner, etc before hand. I will totally be down with that. Otherwise we could just plan a straight up ladies night for another night, complete with chick flicks and Bon Bons.”

The urge to tell her where to get off is unbelievable. I wont though. What does everyone think?

Re: Can't believe some people!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:19 am
by rufio89
I think it sounds like a nice email she sent to be totally honest... I know it sucks being the one in a relationship while everyones out on the pull, but it IS fun to go out and do that. It's been a long time since I've been single, and if I were to split up with my boyfriend, I'd probably want to go out on the pull with the girls, and I think I'd still consider it a girls night.

Are you sure you're not just upset about this because you've been having problems with them ANYWAY?

Sorry if this is way off, I know how complex relationships with friends can be!

Re: Can't believe some people!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:29 am
by sarahmienwok
As I said, I have no problem people going out and pulling, but going out TO pull is something I can't get my head around, at our age anyway! I suppose I did that at uni, but Ive grown up now, boyfriend or no boyfriend. This girl I barely know, and liked her, until now. All the girls Ive had problems with in the past were totally up for the idea of a girly night.

To me, in the message she quoted, she is calling me and the other girls a bunch of giggly bimbo's. That's how I read it anyway! And that's what has annoyed me the most.

Re: Can't believe some people!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:36 am
by rufio89
I suppose I can see how you could read it that way, and obviously I'll read it different because I dont know her at all, but I think she's just maybe thinks that it would be fun? It does all sound a bit fake-girly-pink-and-fluffy with the pillow fights and stuff, but maybe that's what she's just like?

Would it be a comprimise to have a nice evening in first, have some dinner and stuff, have a few drinks at home, then go out together? Or, if the other girls are up for a girls night, without going on the pull, then why dont you JUST go out with them?

Are all the girls much the same age, or are some of them younger than you? I know people who are in their 30s who still go out on the pull, so these girls may NEVER grow out of it...

Re: Can't believe some people!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:43 am
by sarahmienwok
I don't know about this particular girl, but most of them are a couple of years younger, fresh out of uni. She's definately not a girl thats into pillow fights, she seems to be a 'one of the lads' type of girl, which is may be why she has (maybe) taken offense over the idea of a girly night. I was just trying to make sure I didnt exclude anyone!!

I think a part of me is annoyed because I probably wont be able to go out dancing now, and I think I really need it. The weekend they all seem to be agreeing on for a night out with boys and girls (which has already been arranged apparently) is the weekend of my anniversary with my boyfriend, so maybe thats a good thing!

Incidentally, this girl has also half-arranged a party at mine, without me actually saying yes to it. So maybe I'm a bit annoyed about that too...

Re: Can't believe some people!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:59 am
by rufio89
I'd be annoyed about that too! Organising a party at yours!

Ahh so this girl is "one of the lads", so rather than a genuine suggestion, that was more a sarky "im-too-cool-for-a-girls-night" thing? NOW I understand, I was naively thinking that she was just a bit of a girly-girl.

Can you not organise a smaller girls night? I always think the best nights are when you're with 1 or 2 close friends, can you suggest that to your closer friends, and if she's too cool for a girls night then she can go out and be one of the lads, and you can have a lovely evening together.

Re: Can't believe some people!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 11:07 am
by sarahmienwok
Sorry Ruth! I was trying not to waffle, you know what it's like posting problems, hard to cram everything in without there being too much waffle!!

Yeah, I was considering sending a new message out, especially when I did actually forget someone! I may wait a while, so it doesn't show it's annoyed me. I don't know anyone here enough to start talking about people behind their backs, or getting all whiney about it (which I can get like if you don't already know :P ) I just dont want anyone to feel left out, especially after the whole skiing debacle, I know how it feels!