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Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 2:55 pm
by RagDoll
Hi all,

Would just like some opinions on this hen do I've (kinda) been invited to.

The 'hen' initially dropped me an email and invited me to her hen do, which I accepted. It was supposed to be on the Sunday just gone, but when I hadn't heard anymore details about it, I dropped her an email and asked what the plan was. I got a response from her apologising and explaining that she'd sent an email to everyone (and thought she'd included to me) saying it'd been postponed to this coming Sat. I definitely didn't get that email, but I accepted her apology and said not to worry, she replied and said she'd be dropping everyone another email/Facebook message confirming the arrangements for this Sat.

Anyway, I STILL haven't heard from her and don't see why I should have to get in touch with her again to find out what the arrangements are. I get the feeling she's not bothered about me coming, but I don't understand why she asked me in the first place - it's not like I had brought up the hen do and she felt obliged to ask me along, her email was out of the blue.

To be honest, I'm not fussed about going anyway, it's going to be a trek for me to get to and I don't know anyone other than the hen, so I'm almost hoping she doesn't get in touch with me. If she doesn't, do you think it's fair enough that I just leave it at that and don't make any effort to ask her what's happening? I asked one of my friends what she thinks (she's not friends with the hen) and she said she'd be narked and wouldn't bother going now even if she gets in touch.

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 3:02 pm
by Bel Bel
Just leave it, you can say as you heard no more you assumed it was cancelled
If she gets in touch you can alwasys say your ill at lst minute if you really don't want to go
It's not like she is a close friend or anything

Re: Friends Hen Doo

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 3:02 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
If she isn't in touch with you before you leave work tonight then I wouldn't go.

Just say that tomorrow is too short notice for you to "organise travel". If you aren't bothered about going then I wouldn't mention it....unless she is always like this and always leaving it to the last minute.

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 3:12 pm
by spacegirl
if she doesn't get in touch i wouldn't bother, you've already made an effort to find out the plans, and if you're not that good friends with her then don't worry about it!

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 3:12 pm
by RagDoll
Yeh, she isn't a close friend anymore, she was when we were both at uni, but I still care about her and don't want there to be any bad feeling.

I think you're both right though in the respect that I have plenty of reasons not to go now. I don't see why I should keep getting in touch with her to find out what the plans are. She can be a bit dizzy so I'm wondering whether she's just stressed out with wedding arrangements etc. and accidently forgotten to get in touch with me, but at the same time you'd think she'd make sure she kept me informed this time around since she forgot before.

Re: Friends Hen Doo

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 3:16 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
You could just say you "always" had plans for this weekend since it's only last weekend she changed her plans :)

Re: Friends Hen Doo

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 3:24 pm
by RagDoll
I can't say that as the last time she emailed me I said I could make this Sat, then she went onto say about confirming the arrangements by email/Facebook, but I haven't heard a thing. I know she's been on Facebook too as she changed her status. Hmmm. I've pretty much decided not to go now.

Re: Friends Hen Doo

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 3:37 pm
by Skarlet
Why not just say you are really sorry but something has come up. You need to go visit someone else... and then leave it at that.

Is bad organisation, and fairly rude not to let you know the plans.. so I wouldn't worry about it.

Re: Friends Hen Doo

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2009 5:03 pm
by RagDoll
Oh god, just been on Facebook and she's sent me an event invitation. Now I feel guilty if I don't accept it and go :-? ... not that it gives me much info, I know what time I'm supposed to be there now, but I have no clue where the pubs are she's referring to. I don't know what to do.

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 9:05 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
Just say you didn't check face book?

You could e-mail her and ask where the pubs are because you don't know where they are? Also you could do what alicat suggested and say something "urgent" has come up.

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 10:42 am
by Bel Bel
or get ill that night

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 12:04 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
Bel Bel wrote:or get ill that night


Good plan :)

*coughs some e-germs your way* I mean it in the nicest way and not for you to get ill :)

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:39 am
by Skarlet
So Ragdoll, did you go to the hen do? And if so how was it?

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:54 am
by RagDoll
I didn't go, but I think my friend is a bit miffed with me.

She text me on Friday night and said she'd sent an event invitation on Facebook and hoped I could make it. I wrote back and told a bit of a porkie (not great of me, I know) and said I hadn't been on Facebook and since I hadn't heard from her, we'd made plans to get our gravel re-delivered. She replied sounding all disappointed, so I felt really guilty and said I'd go to the meal part of the doo and asked what time the table was booked for. I was fully intending on going at the point, but she didn't reply until the next day (e.g. the day it was happening) at 2pm saying the meal was at 3.30pm and she hoped I could make it. Bearing in mind the doo was 30 miles from my house there was no way I'd really have time to get ready, find out where it is and get there on time, it seemed a ridiculous text to me.

Anyway, I didn't want any sort of argument, so I just said the gravel hadn't been delivered yet and I suggested we meet up one weekend for lunch and it'd be my treat. She hadn't replied to that text (which I sent on Sat).

I was thinking about sending her an email explaining myself, as I don't think she can see it from my point of view and feels I've let her down. Whereas I was all up for the doo until she didn't bother to let me know it had been re-arranged etc, then I started to feel a bit unwelcome. What do you think about sending her an email?

Re: Friends Hen Do

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:07 am
by Skarlet
Do send an email, but just apologise for not being able to make it. don't try and make more excuses or explain, will just look like you are feeling guilty. ( which you are, but you shouldn't do, she didn't really organise it very well.)