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raining on my parade

PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:21 pm
by babydee86
my best friend who i love to bits is raining on my parade!!
even my mum and dad have noticed that since i met my current bf (who is the 'one' hehe) she has been trying to put me down and put our relationship down.
i feel bad for her because she is going through a really tough brake up (she still works with the ex who she is totally in love with, but he uses her for sex.)
i KNOW i have only been with my bf for a month....but i have NEVER felt like this about anyone and he feels the same, even our familys....my Dad included(2 win him round it must be good!!) are sooo happy for us, all my other friends and work colleagues are happy for me!!....but not her.
because of how she is feeling i have been sensitive to her feelings and not rubbed it in! i try to barely talk about him and ask her all about her ect
what else can i do???

Re: raining on my parade

PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:40 pm
by RagDoll
I'm afraid there's not much else you can do. When you say she's been putting you and your relationship down, in what way?

Are you sure you're not misinterpreting it and she's just trying to keep your feet on the ground a bit since you've only been together a short time? (because she cares and doesn't want to see you hurt/disappointed?)

If it's not the above and she's just jealous, well, unfortunately there's not much else you can do. I would be careful not to rub it in as you said you have been, but she should still be happy for you despite the situation she's in.

Re: raining on my parade

PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:47 pm
by Bel Bel
i'd try to be understanding for a little while. She may just be cynical about relationships and men at the moment
If it carries on you need to just say llook i'm happy at the moment and I'd rather you didn't say anything if you don't have anythign nice to say. It's not your fault she is having a bad time and if she is allowing the ex to use her then her self esteem will be at rock bottom

Re: raining on my parade

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 9:18 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
Your friend should be happy for you, if she is a true friend.

My friend has recently broke up with her boyfriend (or rather he ended it) of just over 2 years, I don't see her often because she lives in Germany, so we e-mail a lot, and I was telling her just in general what I'd been doing and I was telling her about the effort my bf put in for our anniversary. I wasn't telling her to rub it in, I didn't elaborate, I just told her in passing. She e-mailed back and said she was soooooooooooo happy for me and she was so happy that I was happy (I don't think she was being sarcastic - she's genuinly a lovely girl who is always happy that other people are happpy - it's a shame she lives so far away). So even though my friend is having her own issues and her own upset (which I am listening to and helping her) she can still be happy and pleased for me. Rather than putting me down and being off with me about it.

Re: raining on my parade

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:25 pm
by Jess1234
I can understand why she is acting like that, as she is going through a really tough break up. But I also think she should be happy for you and be glad that you are so happy. Is there anyway you can talk to her about how she is making you feel? Maybe you could say that you understand how she feels and you want to be there for her but you'd also like her to be happy for you and your boyfriend.

Re: raining on my parade

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:32 pm
by babydee86
RagDoll wrote:Are you sure you're not misinterpreting it and she's just trying to keep your feet on the ground a bit since you've only been together a short time? (because she cares and doesn't want to see you hurt/disappointed?


i suppose it could be this ragdoll but what she says, there is no point in putting excatly what she says its the WAY she says it...tone of voice.. and that. she has even be borderline nasty about it, lots of eye rolling ect... very dismissive
oh well i luv her and i understand what she is going through so i will just continue to be sensitve to her needs
thanks xx

Re: raining on my parade

PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 1:45 pm
by morris mouse
babydee86 wrote: oh well i luv her and i understand what she is going through so i will just continue to be sensitve to her needs


This is a real change (in your thoughts and attitudes towards this person :)) You're giving a lot of grace to this situation which is very good to see. :D

Re: raining on my parade

PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:27 pm
by Liquid Virus
I would give her a wide berth for the meantime. If you dont you understanding kindness will turn to resentment and eventually you'll fall out.