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Here's another one...

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:07 pm
by Liquid Virus
I have a close friend who I've known since childhood. Over the years we could go a while with not seeing each other (sometimes a year or two) but when we would meet up it'd be like yesterday.

Anyway, over the years on drunken nights out sometimes there would be a scene (particularly if there was a large group of us out) and in his mind he would come off worse.

Without boring you with examples he would take this to heart, decide that his version of events was the only correct one and we wouldn't speak for a while, but to keep the peace I would just let him think that his recollection of events was correct, let him rant for a while and then move on.

However, these days I rarely see him but we met up at a 50th birthday party recently and in his drunken stupor and in front of others he starts retelling the version of events he thinks is correct to everybody in the group were standing with - in effect he making me look bad in front of some people I didn't know and some who I did. This he's done a couple of times.

Again to keep the peace I say little except on this occasion I tell him that the tales he's actually recounting are in fact just his perception of the events and don't allow for anyone elses point of view. Instead of realizing he's starting to overstep the mark and just change the subject he wants to escalate and debate it there and then, which is the response I would expect from him but because its my sister in law's 50th I don't want to make a scene.

Personally I think he harboring some ill feeling towards me for the events he thinks in his mind I am responsible for and this comes out when he's had a drink. These days I'm inclined to think that the next time he starts I'm just going to hit him with some home truths.

On the other hand I'm at a point where I dont think I can be bothered with him anymore - he's a canny lad on his own, but sometimes he's a real prat, particularly when he has an audience. Do I give him another chance and if he starts put him straight or just let him go and treat him like the plonker I'm begging to think he is?

Re: Here's another one...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 8:14 am
by kerrie24
I would just say to him next time if he has any issues he wants to get off his chest he should do it before you go out,when its just the two of you.That way it wont spoil anyones night and he still gets the chance to say his piece.If he ignores you and yet again brings it all up in front of your other friends who arent involved,then I would stop inviting him and tell him why hes not welcome.

Re: Here's another one...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:25 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
If you like him alone then why not just try to meet up when there isn't alcohol involved?

Re: Here's another one...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:30 am
by babydee86
i agree with kerrie24, i would be quite blunt about the fact, when he has a drink and is in front of an audiance, he acts a bit of a prat!, but do give him the oppurtunity to redeem him self on the next boozie night out....last chance saloon though i think!

Re: Here's another one...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:31 am
by Bel Bel
i think the right way is meet up in the day without alcohol and have it out like mature adults

Re: Here's another one...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:01 pm
by Liquid Virus
Thanks for the viewpoints. I'd love to meet up and have a chat, in fact I have addressed some of the issues with him, but he still does it and on top of that he would seriously dislike what I would have to say.

I mean he keeps saying how I was brought up with a silver spoon in my mouth and always has daddy their to pay for him. He however never had much money and always struggled etc.

Then it dawned on me one day - I only had it better because my Dad worked night and day to provide for his family. My Dad was brought up in the Gorbals, was frequently made homeless because of his mentally challenged mum and I kid you not, when he met my mum, all he owned was the suit he stood in. His Dad? Probably a similar background but instead of working hard to keep a roof over his families head, he decided to be a drunk wife beater before getting divorced. So in my view, my dad and his had similar life styles except one chose one path of acting like a man and the other chose to be a drunken bum all his life.

I think its probably best to just quietly forget about him.