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help!

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:40 pm
by Jemima
i'm having a lot of trouble with one of my friends called Jo. Sometimes we have a great time together, laughing fits ect but then sometimes she can be so harsh to me. On wednesday she made me cry in front of my class from being so nasty which was really embararsing and then she tried to hug me and say that she was sorry. Apparently she did it becuase i was defending another girl in our class which jo is having a constant arguement with, the other girl has no friends and i feel so bad for her and try to be her friend, she has done some stupid pretty things but in the end i would hate to come to school with no friends, which is exactly what she is feeling and it doesnt help that jo keeps having huge fights with her on MSN. On friday this week as well she suddenly gave me the silent treatment in the afternoon and i found out that it was becuase i 'attacked her' about the fight with the other girl, which i didnt do-Jo said she hated her and i said that hate is a very strong word. recently (mainly this week) we have been having some very big fights on MSN which i end up in tears over as she gets so horrible, then last night (saturday) we were on the phone and had this huge fight and were both crying. She kept saying 'best friends dont treat eachother the way you treat me,' when i havnt been treating her badly-she is the one treating me badly. the thing with Jo is when she has a bad day at school she thinks the whole world is turning against her; especially me. the reason she has fights is becuase sometimes she can be very harsh on other people, not just me, and she can be quite up herself and picks fights quite a lot. The way she keeps saying that she needs me and how she's my best friend worries me and puts pressure on me as i already have a best friend that she knows about out of school whom i have known my entire life, but i think she ignores that and wants me to get rid of her which is not happening. i've been feeling really down lately about this and have had quite a miserable weekend and i have randomly burst into tears on and off this weekend-i'm dreading school tomorrow and desperatly want to move. what makes matters worse is the fact that most of my class think she is either Bi-sexual or a lezbian as she does inapropriate things and stares at me a lot when i get changed and when we go swimming at school and hugs me a lot more than friends should and also says she loves me. i feel awful making these accusations about her but i'm scared she is gay. she also leaves out one of my other best friends in the group, Jessica, and does the same thing (not quite as much) to another girl in the group as she does to me-although is not nearly as harsh. i recently found out that she has been namecalling Jessica who actually is the closest to me at school and i dont want her to be unhappy either. i really dont want to talk to her as i am actually quite scared if her but i want to tell her that i dont think that the friendship is working out so badly. What do i do? i feel so unhappy! Jemima x

Re: help!

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:04 pm
by Liquid Virus
Kudos to you for sticking up for the girl with no friends. Sometimes in life there are people who in reality are just no good for us and you have to just let them go..Your friend sounds like one of them. I have asked a similar question in another thread and I am inclined to think that I should just let this mate of mine go.

Why surround yourself with people who just cause you grief?

Re: help!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:23 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
It seems like Jo is jealous because you have so many friends; her constant hugging and need for attention is her way of getting you all to herself.

As Liquid Virus said well done for sticking up for the friendless girl. In regards to Jo and the friendless girls fights over MSN the easiest thing would be for them to block each other.

Jemima wrote:end up in tears over as she gets so horrible


She isn't a nice person

Jemima wrote:She kept saying 'best friends dont treat eachother the way you treat me,


It's a bit pot calling the kettle black there; if she was your friend she wouldn't treat you the way she currently is.

You break up for school in a month, just try and put up with Jo until then (don't go out of your way to see or please her), then over summer you could try and "drift" away slowly from her.

Re: help!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:09 am
by Bel Bel
I too think Jo is jealous you have other friends. Next timne she is nasty I would say to her you wnat others friends and it would be nicer if everyone could get on as friends. If she continues to be basty and pick fights she isn't the kind if friend you are going to want to carry on haning out with. Tell her this isn't what you wnat but you can't continue to be freinds with her if she is going to be this way. I know this is scary but if you tell her how it is and she realises she may lose you as a friend she may change for the better. Of course she could take it badly but then that just proves she isn't going to change and your best to part company with her. Tell her out of school so she can't make a scene in front of others.
She turns things on you because she is trying to make you think your the bad guy, don't.
I agree it is great you are being friends with the other girl, well done for that.

Re: help!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 12:27 pm
by morris mouse
"jemima" from what I have read (about what you're doing) & the way you work SO hard to help make your other
(genuine) friends included,Jo has every reason to be jealous,although Jo's actions are NOT right.

You break up for school in a month, just try and put up with Jo until then (don't go out of your way to see or please her), then over summer you could try and "drift" away slowly from her.


Good advice.