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friends wedding.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:56 pm
by PinkBlueBird
One of my close friends is getting married next year (anna) and I'm really happy for her.
However, another of my close friends (jemma) used to go out with guy anna's getting married to, and broke up with him because he said he never wanted to get married, when jemma has always dreamed of being married..
Now jemma is really angry and hurt because in her eyes he lied to her.I don't think she really ever got over him.
This has caused a mass fall out between jemma and anna, who were good friends despite anna dating Jemma's ex.

My problem is this.
Anna has asked me to be her head bridesmaid, and I would happily accept, but Jemma has said that if I do, she'll see it as a betrayal and never want to talk to me again.

I'm really not sure what to do.

Re: friends wedding.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:52 pm
by captainf
Ouch that is a really hard problem. I can see why Jemma is heartbroken over this because it would appear that he did lie to her. Maybe with her though he just couldnt see himself marrying her. Although I can still see where Jemma is coming from regarding that guy.
I guess at this current time theres no way that Jemma and Anna can be brought back on to talking terms so I guess you may just have to talk to Jemma and say that this is something you are really honoured of being asked to do and really want to do it. See if she atleast calms her attitude towards you being head bridesmaid. Tell her that you're not taking sides in the matter but you would really like to be a head bridesmaid.

I'm trying to advise you as best I can so that you can do what you want to do, but so that Jemma doesnt feel like the world is against her as I can imagine its hard finding out the partner who told you that they dont want to get married then marries someone else.

Re: friends wedding.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:53 am
by Skarlet
I think you should do it anyway. I think you should say to Jemma, that she is putting you in a really unfair place, and that you are not going to choose between your friends, and she shouldn't expect you to. It isn't Anna's fault that her fiance didn't feel ready to marry Jemma and although she is hurting, and has every right to be you aren't being heads bridesmaid for him, but for your other close friend.

Re: friends wedding.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:04 am
by RagDoll
I agree with Skarlet - I think Jemma is being a tad ridiculous. I can see why she's upset that this guy said he didn't want to get married (which obviously wasn't true, he just didn't want to marry her) but there is no point in taking it out on Anna. It's not her fault he didn't feel enough for Jemma to marry her and from the sounds of it Jemma had already accepted they were in a relationship, so I don't see why this has made her fall out with Anna so much.

I think you should accept the offer to be head bridesmaid - Jemma is being childish; don't let her bully you into saying no.

Re: friends wedding.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:45 am
by Bel Bel
I totally agree with skarlet

Re: friends wedding.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:26 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
PinkBlueBird wrote:My problem is this.
Anna has asked me to be her head bridesmaid, and I would happily accept, but Jemma has said that if I do, she'll see it as a betrayal and never want to talk to me again.


That is just blackmail. She is asking you to choose between you and a friend, a TRUE friend wouldn not ask that of you.

Maybe the guy in question didn't want to get married to Jemma but when he met Anna she was the one for him.