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Is she really my friend?

PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:36 pm
by LilLisaLou
Ok so I have this housemate and I thought we were friends. She is really attractive and I don't mind that as I know I'm fairly ok looking etc. but it is a known fact that most guys fall for her. We were both single and then I started dating a guy I had known for a while and she started getting withdrawn and moody, then she started flirting with him. She would physically put herself between us and put me down infront of him. Eventually there was a really messy break up with this guy (other woman, lies, rumours etc) and she got worse with the flirting. She met this guy through me and she would be so pally pally with him and never stick up for me unlike the rest of my friends and sneak off to his house behind my back to see him and his friends.

I just don't know what to do. If someone had hurt one of my friends I wouldn't want anything to do with them but she seems to disregard my feelings on this issue completely and has on at least one occasion been caught talking about me with him.

What do I do? I have to live with her again next year and all my other friends live an hour away.

Re: Is she really my friend?

PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:43 pm
by Bel Bel
treat her as a housemate and not a friend
she is obviously jealous of you and wanted what you had
the b/f is just as pathetic for allowing her to talk about you like she did without putting her right
let her get on with it and try to make some new friends

Re: Is she really my friend?

PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:28 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I agree with Bel Bel.

Re: Is she really my friend?

PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 3:00 pm
by Shoppingtrolley
This girl sounds extremely self conscious and insecure about herself, she seems to think that she has to have attention from men and other peoples boyfriends to make herself feel good which is quite sad. If she was a friend she would not have done any of this, putting your friend down is a horrible thing to do and all the other things you mentioned are too! If she had done that to my boyfriend he'd have asked her what she was playing at, so i also think it was the right decision to break up with your boyfriend! You can do much better than him! :D

I have had a friend like this in the past, who i cut off all ties with about 2 years ago! Best thing i could have done! As you can't do this in your case just now i would agree with BelBel, just treat her as a housemate and just remember what she is like. You say that your friends live a long way away, could you pick one day a week when you can go and see them to get out of the house overnight if you want to?

Try to remember that this is the other girls insecurities and she will come to realise in time that treating people this way will get her no where! In the mean time try and surround yourself with friends who really do care about you and you'll forget about her and have a ball :D

Take care and good luck xx

Re: Is she really my friend?

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:07 pm
by Peanut1977
She sounds incredibly lacking in self esteem and self worth. My first reaction was "Ugh she sounds vile" but I think she clearly has issues with needing to be the centre of attention and can't bear the fact that you had a man and she didn't, she needs help I think!

In response to your question: No, she is not a friend of yours, end of.

I agree with the Bel Bel, treat her as a housemate and nothing more. I take it you're at uni or something and you absolutely can't move out? If not, be civil to her and live as housemates but ease yourself out of the 'friendship'. Please don't let her and this ex get you down, you are so much better than that! Just worry about yourself from now on, getting your degree or whatever you're doing, and concentrate on getting away from this toxic person as soon as you can! x

Re: Is she really my friend?

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:58 am
by Moxxy
She doesn't sound like that great a friend. Like others have posted above me, she is probably insecure because she's not getting the attention she is used to from this guy. I would keep her at arms length x