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Best Friend

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:31 am
by GirlInTheGreenScarf
Well, I have three best mates, all male, all gay...and we're all so so close and totally support eachother through everything.

One of the best mates...we'll call him Dave, has just got out of a pretty serious relationship...the guy he was with was such an idiot...not to mention a domestic abuser, Dave hasn't been happy for a long long time and felt trapped in this previous relationship..but thankfully he's out of it now but not before me and the other two best mates cos a series of hate mail from the ex.

The mails were really horrible...telling us we couldn't trust Dave, that he was a user and he'd dump us in no time soon..nd we all knew it was just a load of spiteful lies...but he's kinda planted this horrible seed in our thoughts now...and now Dave has become dating this guy whom he really really likes....he texts this guy all the time when he's with us hanging out....but when he's out with him we only get one or two replies....and I'm just so so so so scared that we're gonna lose him, I love him so much he really is my best friend.

I know he's not been happy in a while so I'm really really glad he's found someone who's nice to him...but...I don't know..I can't explain how I feel..i guess I'm just scafred we're going to be seeing less and less of him because he likes this new guy so much..

What should I do???

Also your thoughts on this situation would be much appriciated - thanks!!

Re: Best Friend

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:47 am
by spacebadger
Hi

I don't think you should pay any attention to the stuff Dave's ex said, you have said what type of person he is and I don't think a person like that should have their opinion respected. Please don't let that guys spiteful comments ruin what you think about your friend who has done nothing wrong. Just feel pleased that your friend had the strength to get out of a destructive relationship.

As for the current situation, of course you miss them when you don't get to see good friends as much as you are used to but if you really care about Dave please try to be pleased for him that he is happy. People have to prioritise relationships over friends to some extent, and it is normal to be jealous of that person because they're getting your friend's attention. But as long as he hasn't dropped you completely for this guy (because people in relationships should still have their own friends) just be happy for him and enjoy the time you do get to see Dave. If you really care about him you will want him to be happy.

Hope it all works out

Re: Best Friend

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:02 am
by Bel Bel
I agree with space badger but tell Dave in ajokey way you wnat to make sure you get quality time together and arrange something every week. Also can you go out with dave and his new fella so you can get to know him and maybe he can intergrate into your group

Re: Best Friend

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:03 am
by RagDoll
I agree with spacebadger.

It's natural for him to want to spend a lot of time with this guy and not text you a lot etc. when he's with his new partner. I don't think you should pay any attention to what your friends ex said, I think you're adding 2 + 2 together and getting 5.

Re: Best Friend

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:30 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I agree with everyone else :)