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Been hurt so much by old friend..

PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:37 pm
by JennaXXX
Now it seems she wants to come back into my life again.
To cut a long story short, I had a very close friend but things were never that great between us. She was very insensitive at times and seemed to have very little regard for my feelings. She also made me feel as though she was above me and that she was *The voice of reason*. It wasn't an equal friendship at all and after two years it blew up into a huge row and the friendship ended. It was incredibly hard for me. Although I knew it was for the best I still missed her and wanted her back in my life. I felt sick with how she made me feel about myself and have struggled a lot to not hate myself ever since, even though this all happened over a year ago now.
Throughout all this our mutual friends sided with her. Some even got aggressive and snide towards me.
Now one of these friends also sided with my old friend. That's the way I saw it anyway. She continued to speak to her and stopped speaking to me. :-? I felt like she had cut me out of her life. She was never nasty or unkind to me but I could see where her loyalties were and it hurt.
Anyway, almost a year and a half on and it happens to be that I needed help with a work issue (just general resources help). I posted this on a mutual site that we both go on. She ended up pm'ing me which really surprised me offering her help. I was really surprised and was civil but not affectionate or caring towards her. She however was with me.
It is fair to say that I am a little confused. :-? and also very emotional. I guess I have missed the times we shared and today brought that back to me.

Re: Been hurt so much by old friend..

PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:15 pm
by captainf
Be careful! Is this the online friend you used to talk about or is this a work colleague? I'm abit confused as you mentioned her helping you with a work resources issue, but I get the impression this was online.

My advice - just recieve her advice and help that shes offering on the issue and thank her for that. Do not have any contact with her that will have you guys talking on a social basis. She is no good for you! Its a shame your confidence is so low because you always seem to want to settle for second best - you was talking recently about men in clubs wanting to touch you up - no decent women likes that and in not liking it you are a decent woman. Now you have this ex-friend who has come back into your life, she is one of the reasons why your confidence is so low and she is not the kind of friend you want. Dont sell yourself short, you have alot going for you.

Accept the advice she has offered, but do not start being all friendly on a social basis, she made your life hell! Why would you want to be friends with someone like that?

Start making choices that bring nicer and more caring people into your life. Do not settle for people who are going to abuse you, and suck you of your own confidence to feed their own ego. You're much too good to put up with that.

Re: Been hurt so much by old friend..

PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 10:42 am
by Bel Bel
whILST i TOTALLY UNDERSTAND CAPTAINFs POINT IT COULD BE SHE MAY HAVE REALISED WHAT SHE DID, SHE KNOWS SHE WAS WRONG AND SHE COULD HAVE GROWN UP -sorry on caps :oops:

Be very cautious though in case captainf's theory is right as you have no way of knowing. Take things very slowly but if it looks like you might end up getting more friendly I do think you will have to tell her how she made you feel before. Try thinking of some examples to point out to her if the discussion progress that far. There is nothing worse than someone saying what do you mean and you getting all tongue tied and not being able to think of anything. It makes you feel in the wrong again

Either way go with your instincts as they are usually right