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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 8:38 am
by rufio89
I got a phonecall from my friend's partner yesterday, and he asked me to call her straight away.

So I called her, and it turns out that she went out the other night and ended up getting very brutally raped, he broke her arm and she is badly beaten, but she is back at home. This is all I got out of her, other than that she's refusing to go to the police. I'm going round either tonight or tomorrow to talk to her face-to-face.

She knows the lad in question (not well, just recognises his face/name), and the rest of his group said to her that if she goes to the police, they will hurt her kids, and I know what kind of guys these are, and I'm inclined to believe them. My thought was that probably the best thing she can do is to move house ASAP and then report it to the police when they no longer know where to find her.

Basically, the point of this post is that Im not really sure what to say to her. I'm going to trawl through google later to try to find some support lines or groups so I can give her the information for it, but I was wondering whether anyone else could think of anything I could say or do. I feel totally out of my depth here, but her partner said she wont talk about it with anyone, including him, and that she asked explicitly to talk to me, because I'm apparently the only friend she feels like she can trust.

Another thing I should mention is that following the birth of her son (who is now about 6 months old), she got very very severe post-natal depression and ended up trying to kill herself. She was in a psychiatric hospital for about 3 months, where she was diagnosed with post-natal psychosis and as bipolar. I'm very very scared that this recent event is going to push her over the edge.

Re: Rape

PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:00 am
by Skarlet
Hi Rufio,

Even if she doesn't want to report it to the police there are agencies and organisations she can contact for support. Rapecrisis is one- they don't have to report it to the police, but you should encourage her to get in touch with someone. Its an awful thing to have happened, and there isn't alot you cam say, just be there for her.


Re: Rape

PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:31 am
by Bel Bel
I agree with Skarlet just try to support her as best you can.
Definately encourage her to get some help from a respected organisation who deals with these issues
Do not try to get her to report it to the police if she doesn't want to but your idea about moving may help her make the decision. She could also talk anoymously to the police about the possibility of being rehoused if she is council under witness protection. My sister was moved after she had to give evidence on a neighbour for beating up his girlfirend. The police gave her a letter for the council so she was made and immediate priority.
Also tell her husband to contact an association to as this will also be affecting him

Re: Rape

PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:30 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I don't have much to add to be honest. I agree with the others but I think a lot of it will come out tonight when you see her; you will then be in a better position ti know how she feels etc.

Re: Rape

PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:02 am
by everloney
Oh my god, this is terrible, how can his friends say such things. There truely is evil in this world and things like this happen too much. I was raped when i was younger and was bullied into keeping quiet and saying nothing to anyone. Then he did it to another girl. I regret not standing up and taking action. Although i understand her kids are involved. This is a terrible story and must of affected her partner too. I think talking to people will help her, don't push the police on her, and to be honest it maybe too late to get any evidence. Did anyone witness it? the broken arm would help her case... but as with most rape cases its their word against yours, and all to often they get away with it.... I hope she chooses to do something about this, as she deserves justice.

Failing this, if you know where the guy lives we could get some people to get him. Not a very grown up way of dealing with it, but stories like this make me want to just take action.....